Alexander the Great Dane

Yesterday's blog was about the dog in Texas who was shot and killed by a policeman who was responding to a domestic violence case at the wrong address. Today I was lucky enough to get an interview with a dog from Texas named Alexander the Great Dane. My solution to the problem was to arm all the dogs in Texas. I was unaware that one of the dogs, Alex, my interviewee, is a dog who is already carrying a gun. He not only carries a gun, but he knows how to use it. He uses a stick to pull the trigger since he does not have a thumb, but he says so far he has never had to use his skills to shoot anyone. He just shoots when he does target practice. He says that the best part is that when he gets done with shooting, he has a stick to chew on which, as any dog will agree, is always a fun activity! Alex is quite the celebrity in Texas because Texans appreciate a dog who carries a gun. In fact, Alex says he knows a cat who also carries a gun, but I'm not discussing cat carrying guns in my blog so I won't bother with him. However, Alex is a bit worried about him because there are rumors that the cat is training an army of Persian cats and Alexander the Great is a bit concerned about the threat of cats trying to take over the state. For any dogs living in Texas, Alex is starting a school to train dogs to use guns so, if you are interested, be sure and contact Alex about attending or having him start a school in your area. I would act fast just in case he has to stop to deal with the army of Persian cats that might emerge. No self respecting dog can let a cat win in a fight!

Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing Alexander the Great Dane)

Improving Television Programming

I have been planning some new television programs that I think would be big hits. The first show is Lifestyles of the Rich and Furry which is a show about how rich, dog celebrites choose to live. King of the Kennel is the story of a regular working dog (a German Shepherd) who delivers bones to other dogs' homes. Married With Puppies is about a Bassett Hound who sells dog booties and his disfunctional family. Mushtrek is about a team of Siberian huskies who mush to outer space. Barkville is the story of Superdog when he was a puppy. The Incredible Great Dane is the story of a chihuahua who was exposed to gamma radiation and turns into a Great Dane whenever he gets angry. Believe me, that is quite a switch. Saint Bernard and Son--the story of a St. Bernard and his puppy who collect garbage and sell it to other dogs. Pomeranians of Hazzard who ride around in their 1969 Dodge Charger driving the pig who runs the town nuts. Mad Dogs is about dogs who are in advertising.

As you can see, I have been busy thinking up good dog shows for the networks. If any network executives are reading this (this would exclude the ones from NBC because I suspect they can't read), get in touch with me. I've always got lots of ideas.

By the way, conpawtulations to the couple in Iowa. They were about to lose their home to foreclosure, but they get to keep it after one payment thanks to one of the couple not signing the loan documents. Evidently, some of the humans are mad about their good fortune, but if you ask me; any mortgage company should know to get both signatures before handing out money. They are in the business and should know the laws. I guess I just have trouble feeling sorry for large mortgage companies whose CEOs probably get paid more in a month than that house sold for.

Demon Flash Bandit (Improving Television Programming)

RED and Marmaduke: Movie Reviews

Mommy went to see a movie yesterday, and I asked her to do a quick review of it for my readers. The movie was RED. She said it was a good movie about some retired spies who had to go back to work to solve a problem. Then she said it was blah blah blah......okay, that is not officially what she said, but how good can a movie be with no dogs in it? When I learned that there were no dogs, I immediately rated it as ND--a No Dog movie. Who would want to see it? I'm amazed she wasted her time and money going to see it? Then she actually said it was good....it takes so little to please the humans.

Mommy did buy the combo (blu-ray and dvd) of the movie Marmaduke so Angel Zoom Smokey and myself got to see it. I recommend it highly. Dogs were the stars of the movie. There was even a husky in the movie! It has everything you would want to see in a movie--a Great Dane, a Collie, a Siberian Husky, a Chinese Crested, a Beagle, etc. It has my vote for the Oscar for best picture of the year. I also hope to see the cast up for some Oscars--not the humans of course, but the dogs. Marmaduke easily gave the best actor performance of the year. I laughed, I was on the edge of my paws, I munched on a rawhide bone. It was a GREAT movie with a GREAT dane in it. What more could a human want to see in a movie. I give it my 4 paws up and a wagging tail award--it doesn't get any better than that.

Demon Flash Bandit (Movie Reviews)

The Office Should be Run by Dogs

Mommy just bought the fifth season of The Office on DVD. Since it happens to be the favorite show of Angel Zoom Smokey and myself (judging from how many times we have taken the Dundee award the the Dwight bobble head before Mommy put them out of our reach), I have decided to write about that particular television show in today's blog.

I want to begin by saying that both Angel Zoom Smokey and myself like the boss, Micheal Scott. I personally think that he is a dog dressed up as a human because he likes to eat, naps in his office, and generally does as he pleases and likes to have fun. If I were running a company, I would want to be pals with my employees and have fun on the job. Of course, being a dog, I would be smarter than Michael, but that is just the way it is--even the humans know that, but just don't want to think about it.

I have to admit that if I ran a company, it would make money. When the company announced that all "time wasting" sites would be blocked, I have to agree with them about that except of course for the always essential and never a waste of time blog by Demon Flash Bandit or the wonderful website, http://www.huskydigs.com . I am a blogger on that site too so it is no way it could be a waste of time. They must have seen that Onion Movie where the newscaster said that the Internet was down for 3 hours earlier in the day throwing everyone into productivity. There were a few times I felt like biting some of the characters--like when the salespeople began to think they were all that mattered. This dog felt like going on there and telling them to use their brains. If there weren't people to make a product or distribute a product, there would be no point in selling a product. I have never understood some of the humans' obsession with being the most important human. It isn't like they can be a dog, so why worry about it? I do have to tell you that I was very pleased to see the new owner walk in with 2 beautiful Great Danes. Finally, my many suggestions about adding a dog to the program was heeded--and they even hired 2 dogs. I was a bit annoyed that I didn't see the dogs in the opening credits, but at least they are in the show. The opening credits always amuse me anyway, B J Novak is always on the opening credits next to his character even if he isn't on the show at all, and when he is, it is a small part, and yet they just now put Ed Helms in the credits. If you ask this dog, several of the writers have big egos and actually hurt the show by being in it because you can tell when they write they are very biased about their character. I could understand that if I were a writer and I decided to be in the show I was writing, but that is understandable since I am Demon Flash Bandit, DOG!!!! I do recommend this show, but Mommy says it isn't as funny as some of the past seasons. I say give Angel and myself back our dundee award and Dwight bobble head. Life is good.

Demon Flash Bandit (Fan of The Office)

Howling Huskies--Dog Band That Rocks

As a talented dog and also a member of the rock group, the Howling Huskies, I want to let other musical dogs know that there are guitars that are smaller than the usual size--perfect for children and more importantly, DOGS. To think that for years, a dog couldn't get the proper size guitar so the only dog musicians were the big ones like the Great Danes. Great Danes are wonderful musicians, but most other dogs just aren't big enough to play a regular size adult guitar. I happened to find a website that sells small guitars and I want to share it with my readers. The web address is:
http://www.smallguitars.com/

My personal favorite is the strat style because it looks like my human brother's guitar. Before I got into the Howling Huskies, I was just a regular dog who napped, played with toys, and took the occasional walk. However, I always have loved music, and I would sing along when I heard music. Then Angel Zoom Smokey, another Siberian Husky came to live here, and we decided to from our own rock band. We play for various dog events in the area--weddings, dances, obedience proms, etc. There is nothing like the joy of looking out into the crowd and seeing so many happy faces enjoying our music. I would encourage all dogs to pursue their dreams. For one dog, it might be buying that guitar you have always wanted; and for another dog, it might be taking that human food off the table. Whatever your dreams, Demon Flash Bandit hopes you are happy.

Demon Flash Bandit (Member of the Howling Huskies)