Improving Television Programming

I have been planning some new television programs that I think would be big hits. The first show is Lifestyles of the Rich and Furry which is a show about how rich, dog celebrites choose to live. King of the Kennel is the story of a regular working dog (a German Shepherd) who delivers bones to other dogs' homes. Married With Puppies is about a Bassett Hound who sells dog booties and his disfunctional family. Mushtrek is about a team of Siberian huskies who mush to outer space. Barkville is the story of Superdog when he was a puppy. The Incredible Great Dane is the story of a chihuahua who was exposed to gamma radiation and turns into a Great Dane whenever he gets angry. Believe me, that is quite a switch. Saint Bernard and Son--the story of a St. Bernard and his puppy who collect garbage and sell it to other dogs. Pomeranians of Hazzard who ride around in their 1969 Dodge Charger driving the pig who runs the town nuts. Mad Dogs is about dogs who are in advertising.

As you can see, I have been busy thinking up good dog shows for the networks. If any network executives are reading this (this would exclude the ones from NBC because I suspect they can't read), get in touch with me. I've always got lots of ideas.

By the way, conpawtulations to the couple in Iowa. They were about to lose their home to foreclosure, but they get to keep it after one payment thanks to one of the couple not signing the loan documents. Evidently, some of the humans are mad about their good fortune, but if you ask me; any mortgage company should know to get both signatures before handing out money. They are in the business and should know the laws. I guess I just have trouble feeling sorry for large mortgage companies whose CEOs probably get paid more in a month than that house sold for.

Demon Flash Bandit (Improving Television Programming)

I Checked my Crystal Ball

I happened to look into my crystal ball and I foresaw a new Civil War in the United States between the north and south. This war became more complicated than the one in the 1860s because the Yankees, many of whom were able to infiltrate the south, and fit in with the Rebels were able to find out battle plans in advance. How did they do it? They mimicked a southern accent, and they wore Dukes of Hazzard T-shirts. This made them fit right into the south, and the southerners never realized that they were not really from there. The south decided to use General Lee as their lead general. The big problem with this was that The Dodge Charger, General Lee, was not an expert on military strategy. In fact, the car wasn't good at all at giving orders. It mainly wanted to drive around jumping over stuff. As in the first war, the south lost. It might have been sadder had anyone actually knew what they were fighting about. From what I saw in my Crystal ball, it looks like you can't give rednecks guns. They will use them. I should send that one to Jeff Foxworthy. You might be a redneck if you shoot first, shoot last, and then find out if you should have shot in the first place. I might add that Mommy is a southerner, and not all are rednecks--just the ones who are shooting from their pickup trucks.

If all goes as planned, I will be announcing the winner of the husky Christmas ornament tomorrow. Good luck to the contenders.

By the way, pumpkin is not good for a dog's tummy. I found this out when I ate a bag of Halloween pumpkin shaped candy. Mommy says I ate too much, but how do you stop when it is so good?

Demon Flash Bandit (Seer)