Psycho Dog Television Show

Now we take you to a taping of the new television show, Psycho Dog: Psycho Dog Theme Song: Whose that dog who takes no guff? Whose that dog whose really tough? Whose that dog who rules the humans? Psycho Dog, Psycho Dog...it's psycho dog! Psycho Dog (after overhearing that the humans have an appointment for him with the veterinarian who is going to cut off his....WHAT? Psycho dog gets his doggy pistol and shoots the human, taking care of removing the same item from the human. Next scene: In hospital emergency waiting room, there is the human's family and Psycho Dog. Psycho Dog: Let this be a lesson to humans who want to take a dog's balls. This was inspired by the fake television show, Psycho Dad, which used to be on Married With Children. I don't know thy they never made that show, but I think Psycho Dog could be even better! Demon Flash Bandit (Not Psycho Dog)

Movie Review: Pacific Rim

For those of you who want to see a movie about giant robots and monsters that fight each other, then the movie, Pacific Rim, is for you. I kept wondering if this movie was just a new transformers movie without calling the robots "transformers". It certainly had enough fighting and stuff being blown up to be a part of the Transformer franchise. I thought the best perfomance was by Charlie Day, who plays Charlie in the television show, It is Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Sadly, his performance couldn't turn this into a good movie. I did not enjoy this movie, and I thought it was seriously boring! How many times can a robot hit a monster before a dog gets bored? I give this movie 2 paws up which is about a 4 out of 10 on the human movie scale. I will say that, if you are a fan of Godzilla type movies, you will probably love it! Demon Flash Bandit (Movie Critic)

Candy Insurance

This dog is highly upset today, and I'm sure, once I explain this situation to you, all the other dogs out there will be upset too. As you may be aware, if you buy items at the store, the stores often offer extended warranties particularly on electronics and even dvds and blu-rays. Since they offer extended warranties, and the humans can get insurance on the items in their home in case of theft, I wanted to get an insurance policy on the Swedish Fish I was planning to buy. It seems that everytime I get some Swedish Fish, they end up missing. Someone is stealing them right out from under my nose, and it seems to happen everyday. Since they are my absolute favorite candy (except for a couple of weeks when I refused to eat them because the humans were wrapping a disgusting antibiotic in them), this is very upsetting to me. The store has no policy for insuring food. Does that seem fair to you? The most valuable thing anyone can buy, and there is no insurance for it. You can insure your television set, and if you ask my opinion, it is very useless. It isn't like you can eat it, and even if you could, I doubt that it would taste good. I think the government should get involved in this so I have written my congresshuman (yes, we know it should be a congressdog, but it isn't), and I am going to share that letter with you now: Dear Congresshuman, Insurance companies should be required to insure a dog's candy. We like our candy, and the humans are always trying to take it from us. Something should be done....maybe the death penalty for candy theft. I know you are probably thinking that the death penalty is too easy since there is the chance for reincarnation, but at least it is a start! I would appreciate it if you would name this new law when you pass it, the Demon Flash Bandit Candy Law. Thank you for your time and get cracking or you may have a constituency of dogs ready to bite you! Sincerely, Demon Flash Bandit If that doesn't get some action, I don't know what will. Of course, from what I've read in the news, some of the people in Washington are busy sending photos to other humans that would be better unsent. Someone really needs to explain that to Anthony Weiner. Demon Flash Bandit (Wants My Candy Insured)

Fortune Cookie Uncanny Accuracy and Protest at Wendy's HQ

I have written several times in previous blogs about the accuracy of fortune cookie preditions. Now I have a story to share with you from the news about a man whose fortune cookie predicted he would soon come into a lot of gold so he bought a lottery ticket which won a million dollars. Here is the link: http://now.msn.com/fortune-cookie-predicts-lottery-win-for-william-johnson By the way, if you have any fortune cookies laying around that you don't want, send them to me, Demon Flash Bandit at this address: Demon Flash Bandit United States. I'm sure that is all the post office needs to get the packages directly to me since I'm such a famous dog! I have an important announcement involving Wendy's restaurants. The local ones have been giving out reduced fat sour cream, and it has happened more than once so I doubt that it is a mistake. What are fast foods coming to when a dog gets reduced fat items at the restaurants? If you want healthy food, go to the Tufu and Soybean Chain...oh yeah, you can't go there because no self respecting dog--or human with normal taste buds wants to eat that crap. I know I am being a bit harsh here, but we are talking about a LOW FAT item. Even Yogi Bear, in his movie, pointed out that low fat mayonaise does not taste as good as regular mayo, and he learned that from stealing so many pic-a-nic baskets. I think Yogi probably holds the record for the most pic-a-nic baskets stolen from the humans so he should know. I'm sure he would not approve of low fat sour cream either. Since this is a serious issue, I think there should be some mass protesting at Wendy's headquarters. Chihuahuas and other little dogs, you are in front with your protest signs, and us bigger dogs will be behind you! Demon Flash Bandit (Protesting Low Fat Sour Cream)

Royal Baby: George Alexander Prince

Kate just had the royal baby, and they named him George Alexander Prince. The name meets my approval since many dogs are named Prince so the baby is in good company with that name. In keeping with tradition, many babies born during the past week were named George Alexancer Notprince. Personally, I think this trend got a bit out of paw when they started naming the girls that name. The royal couple wanted to name the baby Demon Flash Bandit 2, but I wouldn't allow it. It is my name, and the AKC probably would not allow them to name the baby after me since the baby is human and not a puppy. I do have several comments to make regarding the royal baby. The first of which is that the media is making a big deal out of this event which makes no sense to me. I can tell you that my Mommy had more than one puppy, and the media never even mentioned it on the front page. Since I, Demon Flash Bandit, was one of the puppies, you would think an important event like my birth would get a lot more attention than it did. I also want to mention that the baby's car seat, and swaddling stuffs (there are items for the baby to chew on during the trip home), is sold out because the non-royal humans want to have the same car seat for their children. I hate to break it to them, but it takes more than a carseat to be the prince. From what I've learned, it takes generations of in-breeding to create a royal child. Evidently, the royal families did not know that, from a scientific viewpoint, having a more diverse genetic gene pool is a good thing. Anyway, it is nice that the young prince has been born, and even though he isn't as important as me, human puppies are still cute when they are little...then they grow up to be adult humans and they lose all their cuteness! Demon Flash Bandit (Writing About George Alexander Prince)

Movie Review: Turbo

This movie is about Theo, the garden snail who dreams of being a race car and going as fast as possible. However, being a snail makes that dream impossible-or does it? A freak accident causes Theo to become "Turbo"--a super fast snail who can race. Meanwhile, he is found by a young man who is also a dreamer, and he wants to use snail races to make his taco stand successful. Does it work? You'll have to watch the movie to see how Turbo did in the Indianapolis 500, and how the taco stand worked out. One outstanding part of this movie was the birds that died in the making of this movie. As a dog who does not like birds, I was happy to see such realism in a film. If you ask my opinion, more birds should be killed in films! I give this movie 4 paws up, some tail wags, and a tummy rub which is about an 8 out of 10 on the human movie scale. Although this movie is largely meant for children, the message of this movie is that you should not give up on your dreams no matter how silly they may seem. Who knows...one day, you may be running alongside the cars at the Indy 500 too?! I want to mention that Ryan Reynolds played Turbo, and Paul Giamatti played Turbo's brother, and I think both actors did an amazing job considering that it is not easy for a human to play a snail. Do I smell an Oscar nomination for them? Probably not--knowing those silly Oscar giving humans, it will go to some stupid movie that stars birds as heroes. If only more birds could die, this world would be a better place for dogs! Demon Flash Bandit (Movie Critic)

Plants Should be Seen and Not Heard

This area has had a heat wave for the past couple of days, and as a result, this dog has not been getting on the computer to write a blog. I know that it is unfair to expect my readers to go without my words of wisdom for so long. The central air conditioning in the house is not working, and this dog has been hanging out in the bedroom where there is a window air conditioner. If there is one thing that a husky does not enjoy--it is hot weather. Now that it isn't so hot, I am back, and I hope my readers have not been too inconvenienced by my lack of writing. I read in the news today that plants can talk. Yes, plants--those green things that we dogs like to water when we go outside can talk!! In my personal opinion, this is not a good thing. Isn't it bad enough that birds and other small animals can talk without plants adding to the noise? You know that they will probably just be complaining about how they never get to go out anywhere-and probably even complain about how the wonderful dogs they know are "watering" them. Dogs are doing them a big favor when we water them, but you know they won't be appreciative about the dogs sacrifice. Now I understand why dogs always say, "plants should be seen and not heard". I have to go now, but I will try to write my blog sooner next time. I know how important it is for my readers to have something new to read! Hopefully, the heat wave will not return to our area! Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing Talking Plants)