Drunken Shopping Carts

Personally, I don't know what all the fuss over the Super Bowl is for. I don't want to sit and watch other people play football. I have my own football (doggy size), and I like to play it myself. My humans aren't interested in watching at all, but many of the humans are very excited over the prospect of watching the game. Many of them are going to Super Bowl parties where they will eat lots of food, and many of them will drink a bit too many beers (and other alcoholic beverages). Until today, I thought it was only the humans who took part in these kinds of behaviors, but that was before I went by the store today. There was a shopping cart that was sitting on its side in the parking lot. Obviously, the cart had started celebrating early, and had already had a few too many beers. After the beers, the cart couldn't even stand up anymore. I plan to stay home the rest of the day. When shopping carts are getting drunk, it is not a good idea to go out anywhere....you know the humans will really be plastered! Besides, I plan to watch a better game: The Puppy Bowl!!!

Demon Flash Bandit (Commenting on Drunken Shopping Carts)

Scientific Study

I have decided to ask for a government grant to study the behavior of drunk humans versus drunk monkeys. I was watching some drunk humans throw their poop at each other and I wondered if drunk monkeys stop throwing their poop at each other. Okay, I haven't actually seen the humans do that when they are drunk. I have observed drunken humans in parking lots while I'm waiting on my humans and they get really silly. I know that the dogs reading this are thinking, but aren't humans always stupid? Yes, that is true, but they get even dumber when they are drunk. In fact, you would think that they wouldn't get drunk considering how stupid they get, but they are so stupid, they continue to get drunk anyway! Then I started thinking--what if monkeys get classier when they are drunk. I think 10 million dollars to study this would be enough. Once my "findings" are published, then maybe the humans will quit drinking so much. I do want to say up front, that 5 million will be used to purchase dingo bones because they help me think, and I am going to need all my brain power to do this study. I'm not just doing it go get 5 million dollars for dingo bones. I am really concerned about this subject, and it is of vital importance to everyone on the planet. Besides, wouldn't it be cool to see a monkey in a tuxedo? You just have to pray that the other monkeys don't sober up and start throwing poop at him. An interesting documentary has been done on this subject already--Planet of the Apes, but it was not done as well as my study will be done--it is done by humans. It would not surprise me if the humans doing the documentary blew things up---I would hate to see the Statue of Liberty blown up.

Demon Flash Bandit (Ready to do a Scientific Study)

Movie Review: War Horse

I went to see War Horse, and as usual, I am going to share my thoughts on this movie with my readers. The movie takes place during World War 1, and the part of Albert is played by Jeremy Irvine. The star went uncredited because the star was a horse whose name in the movie was Joey. Joey came to live with his family because Albert's dad paid too much for Joey at an auction when he, probably partly due to being drunk, got a little over zealous with bidding which almost caused him to lose his farm. However, Joey came through and saved the farm. However, the father still had to sell him to the British Army because he needed the money. Joey ended up in the British Cavalry, and was soon captured by the Germans. Joey was not treated well, and as a result, I did not like this movie very much. It was bad enough that the studio did not give the horse credit probably to keep him from winning an Oscar, but by the time the movie was over, it made me realize that the humans are always dragging animals into their skirmishes. This dog does not approve. Why not just let the horses negotiate a settlement? I'm sure they have more sense than the humans. The humans even refer to common sense as "horse sense" so even they know that horses are smarter than them. It wasn't exactly a "bad movie", but it was depressing. After seeing that movie, if it were up to me, I would have cancelled World War 1. It didn't look like a good era to live through.

Demon Flash Bandit (Movie Review of War Horse)