I'm sorry about not writing a blog for a couple of days. My secretary was in the hospital, and she does all my typing for me. I hate to have my readers have to go several days without my words of wisdom.
When I saw in the news today that a man killed 70,000 birds and was arrested, I had to read more about it since I thought any human who kills 70,000 birds should be getting a medal. For those who may not have read any of my past blogs, I think birds are evil creatures who are trying to take over the planet. However, he got drunk and turned off the power to chicken houses which killed the chickens. Somehow I find it odd that the chickens will begin to die within 15 minutes of being without power. My grandparents used to have chickens, and they lived in a chicken coop that had no electricity and they thrived just fine without it. I guess modern chickens are a lot more spoiled. Maybe if they can't watch the latest episode of Robot Chicken, they start to commit suicide. Anyway, if he was going to kill birds, he should have stuck with regular birds because Angel Zoom Smokey (a fellow husky) loves to eat chicken, and she is very upset that so many chickens were killed and not being eaten by herself and other dogs. Here is the link to the news:http://usnews.nbcnews.com/_news/2012/08/28/13531163-sheriff-drunken-man-turns-off-power-on-poultry-farm-causes-death-of-70000-chickens?lite
Demon Flash Bandit (Modern Chickens are Spoiled)
Showing posts with label chickens. Show all posts
Showing posts with label chickens. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
Thursday, April 5, 2012
When Chickens Attack!
I have a video to share with my readers today. Here it is:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ybVb3t560oY
As you can see in this video, there are 2 rabbits playing happily with each other when they are viciously attacked by 2 chickens. As a dog who does not like birds and has been warning my readers of their nastiness, I think this video says it better than words. Easter will be here in a few days, and those nasty chickens attacked the Easter Bunny's helpers. I think they are probably jealous that the rabbits made their eggs interesting by turning them into works of art. Chickens lay eggs that are white or brown and uninteresting looking. The bunnies make them beautiful. The next time you see a bird flying over who is probably planning to drop a white bird bomb on your head, remember this video and let's all get together on the eradication of birds from the planet.
Demon Flash Bandit (Friend of Bunnies)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ybVb3t560oY
As you can see in this video, there are 2 rabbits playing happily with each other when they are viciously attacked by 2 chickens. As a dog who does not like birds and has been warning my readers of their nastiness, I think this video says it better than words. Easter will be here in a few days, and those nasty chickens attacked the Easter Bunny's helpers. I think they are probably jealous that the rabbits made their eggs interesting by turning them into works of art. Chickens lay eggs that are white or brown and uninteresting looking. The bunnies make them beautiful. The next time you see a bird flying over who is probably planning to drop a white bird bomb on your head, remember this video and let's all get together on the eradication of birds from the planet.
Demon Flash Bandit (Friend of Bunnies)
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Cow Gives Milk Away!
I always try to find interesting topics to write about in my blog. Today I am writing about a news item from Virginia that happened at a Walmart there. A man dressed as a cow managed to steal 26 gallons of milk from Walmart. He crawled out with it, and was giving it away afterward so I guess he must be the "cow version" of Robin Hood. He was apprehended at a nearby McDonalds which seems like an odd place for a cow to choose eat since they are serving cows there-and I'm not talking about serving the cows burgers--the cows are the burgers. I am wondering if he had help. I bet there were some other animals waiting in the parking lot perhaps driving a get away dairy truck. I bet some chickens were involved. They are part of the bird family and I have been warning the humans that birds steal snow which is why there are so many birds in tropical areas. As usual, Walmart has its usual share of odd looking people so I guess no one noticed a cow shopping in the store. You would think that someone would have noticed a cow before he managed to steal 26 gallons of milk. Another thing comes to mind--where was the greeter? Walmart usually has a greeter at the door whose main qualification for the job it to be at least 150 years old. Perhaps the stress of saying hello to everyone was too much for the greeter that day and he or she had to take a break.
In another news story, a Nascar driver, Kyle Busch, has lost his drivers license after being caught going 128 miles per hour in a 45 miles per hour zone. His lawyer feels he was "picked on" because he is a celebrity, but I think a Nascar driver would have more sense than to go that fast in public. Don't they get in enough accidents on the race track? Besides, they let him have a driver's license and I can't get one because I am a dog. That is the real injustice--that dogs are not allowed to have a license to drive.
I hope everyone is having a nice day, and I'll write more tomorrow.
Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Without a Driver's License)
In another news story, a Nascar driver, Kyle Busch, has lost his drivers license after being caught going 128 miles per hour in a 45 miles per hour zone. His lawyer feels he was "picked on" because he is a celebrity, but I think a Nascar driver would have more sense than to go that fast in public. Don't they get in enough accidents on the race track? Besides, they let him have a driver's license and I can't get one because I am a dog. That is the real injustice--that dogs are not allowed to have a license to drive.
I hope everyone is having a nice day, and I'll write more tomorrow.
Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Without a Driver's License)
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
You Might Be a Chicken.....
Many of my readers are probably familiar with the comedy of Jeff Foxworthy, who has done the world a service by letting them know how to identify rednecks. Today, I plan to offer a similar service by helping everyone identify chickens.
YOU MIGHT BE A CHICKEN:
1. If you have feathers and are being eaten by a dog, you might be a chicken.
2. If your brain is smaller than a peanut, you might be a chicken.
3. If you pee on your feathers, you might be a chicken.
4. If you get stuffing put up your butt, you might be a chicken.
5. If you have wings and can't fly, you might be a chicken.
6. If you run around after your head has been cut off, you might be a chicken.
7. If you lay eggs, you might be a chicken.
8. If you wear a disguise to look like human guys (Animaniacs), you might be a chicken.
9. If you wake people at dawn, you might be a chicken.
10. If you look around in paranoid fashion, you might be a chicken.
11. If you are contacted by the Easter Bunny in Spring for a huge egg order, you might be a chicken.
12. If you are in Angel Zoom Smokey's tummy , you might be a chicken.
13. If you shake your tail feathers, you might be a chicken.
14. If you hate Colonel Sanders, you might be a chicken.
15. If you do a stupid dance at a wedding, you might be a chicken.
16. If you allow Mel Gibson to voice a relative (movie, Chicken Run), you might be a chicken.
17. If you peck people on the neck, you might be a chicken vampire.
18. If you color your eggs, you might be a flamboyant chicken.
19. If you are scared by the initials, KFC, you might be a chicken.
20. If you avoid military service, you might be a chicken.
21. If the phrase, original recipe upsets you, you might be a chicken.
22. If Mr. Bean has ever gotten his head stuck in your butt, you might be a chicken (or turkey).
23. If you taste good with almonds, you might be a chicken.
24. If you can't tell if your baby is a boy or girl, you might be a chicken.
25. If you won't live in the state of Kentucky, you might be a chicken.
26. If Angel Zoom Smokey is following you around, you might be a chicken.
I hope this list helps you identify chickens when you meet them. They are good eating.
I might share some of my chicken jokes with you in a future blog, but I will end this blog with one chicken joke. Foghorn Leghorn. No, he may be a cartoon chicken, but he is not the joke. The joke is: What do you call a chicken who wakes a dog in the morning? Breakfast!!!!
I hope everyone has a good day!
Demon Flash Bandit (Helping Dogs to Identify Chickens)
YOU MIGHT BE A CHICKEN:
1. If you have feathers and are being eaten by a dog, you might be a chicken.
2. If your brain is smaller than a peanut, you might be a chicken.
3. If you pee on your feathers, you might be a chicken.
4. If you get stuffing put up your butt, you might be a chicken.
5. If you have wings and can't fly, you might be a chicken.
6. If you run around after your head has been cut off, you might be a chicken.
7. If you lay eggs, you might be a chicken.
8. If you wear a disguise to look like human guys (Animaniacs), you might be a chicken.
9. If you wake people at dawn, you might be a chicken.
10. If you look around in paranoid fashion, you might be a chicken.
11. If you are contacted by the Easter Bunny in Spring for a huge egg order, you might be a chicken.
12. If you are in Angel Zoom Smokey's tummy , you might be a chicken.
13. If you shake your tail feathers, you might be a chicken.
14. If you hate Colonel Sanders, you might be a chicken.
15. If you do a stupid dance at a wedding, you might be a chicken.
16. If you allow Mel Gibson to voice a relative (movie, Chicken Run), you might be a chicken.
17. If you peck people on the neck, you might be a chicken vampire.
18. If you color your eggs, you might be a flamboyant chicken.
19. If you are scared by the initials, KFC, you might be a chicken.
20. If you avoid military service, you might be a chicken.
21. If the phrase, original recipe upsets you, you might be a chicken.
22. If Mr. Bean has ever gotten his head stuck in your butt, you might be a chicken (or turkey).
23. If you taste good with almonds, you might be a chicken.
24. If you can't tell if your baby is a boy or girl, you might be a chicken.
25. If you won't live in the state of Kentucky, you might be a chicken.
26. If Angel Zoom Smokey is following you around, you might be a chicken.
I hope this list helps you identify chickens when you meet them. They are good eating.
I might share some of my chicken jokes with you in a future blog, but I will end this blog with one chicken joke. Foghorn Leghorn. No, he may be a cartoon chicken, but he is not the joke. The joke is: What do you call a chicken who wakes a dog in the morning? Breakfast!!!!
I hope everyone has a good day!
Demon Flash Bandit (Helping Dogs to Identify Chickens)
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