Early Dogs as Pets

Once upon a time, back when the dinosaurs still roamed the Earth, there was a man named Hookey Bookus, but, to protect his identity, we will call him Fred. Fred wanted a companion--a pet that would hang out with him, but this was before men had pets. He wasn't sure what animal to get--he thought about getting a tyrannosaurus rex, but decided that a t-rex would not make a good pet, and would probably eat him for dinner. Then he considered a mastadon, but the mastadon was too big to fit into the cave. He bought a cage thinking he might get a birdasaur (early man did not realize that birdasaurs were evil), but the dinosaur birds of the era were too big for the cage. Then he thought about a saber tooth tiger, but cats were too picky about their food for Fred's taste! Finally, he found a wolfasaur, and the wolfasaur became a perfect pet, and as time went on, evolved into a dog. Of course, we dogs are the ones in charge, but we let the humans think we are their pets. It keeps them happy--it takes so little to keep the humans happy.

Demon Flash Bandit (Beginning of Men's Alliance With Pets)

Big News: Aniston Gets a Tattoo

I am not a fan of the idea of home schooling. There are many reasons I have this opinion, but I think the most important one is best illustrated by a news story I read today that happened in Gary, Indiana. Christian Choate was an Indiana child who was found dead---a alleged victim of child abuse. His parents kept him in a cage, and he seldom got out except to be beaten. He was seldom fed or given water. He wrote while caged, and he wondered why no one ever came to help him. Why didn't social workers or his teachers step in and do something? Because he was home schooled--that is why. I know that there are a few parents who do a good job at home schooling, and I'm not saying they should not be allowed to do so. However, there seems to be no safeguard for the humans who keep the children at home to hide possible child abuse. Personally, I think children need to have experience with the outside world. I also think that very few parents have the education and temperament to do a good job of teaching their children at home. There are exceptions to every situation, but I wonder how many home schooled children are home because their parents don't want the "system" to find out what they are doing. There are some rotten humans in the world, and they get by with too much in this dog's opinion.

I hate to write about sad things, but the world is not always a happy place, and I think it is my job as a dog to point out when the humans can do better. Thankfully, most of the humans are nice, and the rotten ones are the exception. I just think the nice ones need to keep the rotten ones in line better. Maybe a leash would help.....

In other news, the big news (I'm sure all my readers will agree) is that Jennifer Aniston got a tattoo. This dog would never consider getting a tattoo because I prefer to have my art hanging on walls as Mother Nature intended. However, I think some of the humans get them to look tough. It has to be a blow to their ego that Jennifer Aniston now has one too. Jennifer Aniston just can't look that tough--even with a tattoo. I have a solution for the humans who want to look tough now that a tattoo will no longer do the trick. Those humans can look tough by sewing lace on their blue jeans and t-shirts. Nothing says "I'm tough" like adding lace. By the way, the tattoo Jennifer Aniston has is of her dog. I can't criticize her taste because it is great!

Speaking of celebrity dogs, if you want your dog to live like a rich celebrity dog, you need this web address:
http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/43466151/ns/today-today_pets_and_animals/t/ruff-life-paris-label-sells-k-dog-bowl-k-dog-bed/ . This site has expensive pet items for the dog who deserves the best!

Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing Dog Tattoo)

Call the D Team

Last year a crack commando team was sentenced to a cage by a military court for a crime they did not commit. These dogs promptly escaped from a maximum security kennel to the underground (yes, they like to dig holes). Today still wanted by Animal Control, they survive as huskys of fortune. If you have a problem.....if no one else can help....if you can find them, maybe you can hire the D Team. (D Team stands for Demon Flash Bandit Team). Just don't ask them to pull you on a sled. They are too tired. Dog do Dog Do Dog Ruff. Bark Bark Ruff, Dog Howl (that is the theme music that plays after the narration).

Meet the D Team which is similar to the A Team that used to be on television. There is Demon Flash Bandit as Hannibal....because Demon is the lead dog. Then there is Face also portrayed by Demon Flash Bandit because I am one handsome dog. B.A. (Bad Attitude) Barracus is played by Demon Flash Bandit because sometimes I do have a bad attitude particularly when Angel Zoom Smokey takes something of mine. Last but not least is Howling Mad Murdoch also played by Demon Flash Bandit because I like to howl and sometimes I get howling mad. Hey, if Eddie Murphy can play 5,000 characters in one movie, then I can too. I am far more talented then him.

I have a comment to make on this whole Weinergate thing. Representative Weiner will no longer be a representative. I'm not saying that his tweeting was right. In fact, you have to be very careful when dealing with birds (and everyone knows that the Twitter symbol is a bird). However, from this dog's observation, I think the people in the United States would be better off if more of their representatives were harmlessly tweeting photos of themselves instead of robbing the treasury and not watching out for their constituents. If I were a representative, I would be watching the big corporations which are ripping off the normal people. In fact, I would venture a guess that they are the ones who make sure that "scandals" get so much attention so no one will be watching them and their lobbyists.

I hope everyone has a nice weekend.

Demon Flash Bandit (Leader of the D Team)

Dogs Choice of Fish for Dinner

I was just wondering....some homes have aquariums filled with fish. I have to assume that even the humans realize that you can't pet a fish since they have to live underwater so they can't be "pets" by the very definition of the word, pet. However, there must be some reason why the humans have fish in their homes because it takes some trouble to set up an aquarium, and it costs money to feed the fish and take care of them. Since they aren't pets, why would the human go to the trouble and expense of having them in the first place? I have the answer to that question. I have watched television enough to know that when you go into an elegant seafood restaurant, the customer picks out the "live" lobster that he or she wants to eat. Therefore, I have come to the conclusion that the aquarium is set up in the house so dogs and cats can choose which fish they want to eat. That is the only logical reason for having an aquarium in the home. It is particularly welcome for cats since cats really love seafood, and they like to see the food try to get away before it is caught. This brings me to my next point. When the humans have a bird in a cage, is that also for the dog or cat to choose as dinner? Personally, I think it would be a great idea. I would not mind getting to choose a bird for dinner. I'm sure they taste delicious!

Demon Flash Bandit (Fishes are For Eating)