King Demon Flash Bandit

As you can see from today's photo of Phantom Fast Snowman, my stunt double had a bit too much green beer and took off his Irish shirt. If it had been me, I would have taken off the silly hat, but you would think Phantom had stuffing for brains. I suppose it has its advantages since Phantom might complain about being my stunt double if he had brains. Anyway, everyone here had a happy St. Patrick's Day, and I hope it was a good day for my readers too.

Since yesterday was St. Patrick's Day, it has made this dog think of castles. Actually, I am thinking that a dog like myself should be living in a castle instead of a normal house. Not that I think napping would be any better in a castle, but if it were a castle with a 24 hour Burger King chef, that would be like heaven for me. I could get up in the middle of the night and order a whopper with bacon. Bacon is also very delicious!!! There would be no need for those silly fries or onion rings. I don't like them anyway. The "chef could keep shakes and pies on the "menu" since I like them too. I checked the nutrition guide and BK, bacon, shakes, and pies are all good for a dog. I happen to be an expert on nutrition which is why I wrote the nutrition chart that I consulted. I think the silly humans use a different chart, and it is as silly as they are. If you go by their "nutrition" chart, you would never eat the best tasting stuff. I say if it tastes good, you are supposed to eat it. Anyway, all this talk of food has made me hungry. I am going to go to the kitchen and see if there is any food hanging around in there uneaten.

Demon Flash Bandit (King Demon Flash Bandit)

A Crown Worthy of English Royalty

Once again, I received some correspondence from Elizabeth II, The Queen Lady. It is always nice to hear from my friend, the Queen Lady, and this was no exception. I wrote and suggested ways in which she could cut the royal budget. As always, she appreciated my advice. Here is her letter:



Dear Demon Flash Bandit,

Thank you so much for your letter suggesting we save money on the royal budget by selling the crown jewels. Most of the time, they just sit around in the Jewel House of the Tower of London because we don't wear them much. I'm sure they would bring a nice wad of cash for our castle expenses. I had never considered giving them up since we do need the crown for various occasions. I was touched by your thoughtfulness in finding a substitute for me to wear and pass down to my descendants. I did consider the child's "plastic" tiara you priced for me at Meijer for $5.99, but I know it might not fit so I realized I might have to spend as much as $100-$200. on a crown. However, since you sent me such a wonderful replacement crown, I don't even have to spend $5.99 because I plan to use the crown you sent. You are so right when you say that a Burger King crown is better than any other crown that I could buy. In fact, I like it better than the crown jewels in the Tower of London. It is not heavy, it looks regal, and you can't do better in life than burgers from Burger King. I often take the family out for their wonderful burgers. I'm not sure how ordinary people can afford to eat at such an elegant restaurant, but it is nice that they feed my subjects the same delightful burgers they serve me and my family. Thank you so much for watching out for me and my family. I am always touched by your thoughtfulness. I do hope that I will be able to come and mow your yard this year. That extra $25.00 will mean so much to my family and me.

On another subject, are you going to be able to attend the wedding of my grandson to Kate Middleton? I do hope you will be able to attend. I have told the caterers to make sure that you are served Burger King because I know how much you enjoy their burgers. Yes, Demon, they really are "fit for a king or queen". The rest of the guests will have slump soup so that we will have plenty of leftovers. Nothing says royal like eyeballs and ears in the soup. By the way, we would love to have you stay at the castle with us. We have plenty of room, and I would hate to see you stay at a hotel.



Love,

Her Majesty, Queen Lady Elizabeth



I am so pleased that the Queen Lady takes the time to write me, a simple dog.



Demon Flash Bandit (Helping the Queen Lady Save Money)

Don't Mess With Angel Zoom Smokey

Today's blog is a public service announcement to Jack Nicholson. Jeff was doing his imitation of Jack Nicholson last night, and Angel Zoom Smokey went nuts. We had no idea that she was not a fan. In fact, she was very upset. Perhaps it was because Jeff was doing his voice and she thought he had been taken over by some Jack Nicholson demon, and if so, maybe the real Jack Nicholson might be okay if he were to run into Angel. Is it really worth him taking that kind of risk? I think not. My reaction was to look up from my nap and lay my head back down. Obviously, I am a bit more mellow than Angel Zoom Smokey. It isn't like Jeff isn't always doing silly things. She is 3 years old so she should be used to it by now. Anyway, I am going to assume that she is not a fan of Nicholson. Sorry Jack, you are okay with me, but Angel does not share my opinion. Just be grateful she isn't a movie critic. I personally am glad that Jeff puts on these shows for us. He practiced his stand up comedy in front of us, and I have to tell you that Angel is responsible for much of his success (he has appeared at Mark Ridley's Comedy Castle in Royal Oak, MI, and also at the Comedy Showcase in Ann Arbor, MI). You may ask how Angel Zoom Smokey can be considered the reason for his success, but it is quite simple. She had to keep telling him--"Jeff, it is stand up comedy, you can't sit down". It isn't Jeff's fault that he thought it would be okay. Daddy did used to play ball with him while sitting in a lawn chair. Daddy had worked all day and he said standing at home was too much work. Jack, if you are reading this, I have no idea what you have done to annoy Angel Zoom Smokey so much, but if you want to avoid some puppy slaps of justice (one of her specialties); I would suggest you avoid all contact with Angel. I've been the victim of some of those puppy slaps of justice and, believe me, they aren't fun!



Remember the Christmas ornament giveaway. Who wouldn't want an adorable husky ornament on their Christmas tree?



Demon Flash Bandit (Issuing Alert)