A Dog Does Not Need Human Accompaniment!

It is Balloonfest Weekend here in Howell, Michigan which means that humans are full of more hot air than usual. (Dogs love that joke.) There are a lot of activities going on including a B52 fly over from the Yankee Air Force which is based in Ypsilanti, Michigan. I'm not quite sure why a band is flying over, but I hope they will be playing music because this dog enjoys music. I actually learned something about history because of the Balloonfest. Up until today, I had no idea that either side had airplanes during the Civil War. Obviously there were airplanes because that is why it is called the Yankee Air Force. There is also a Confederate Air Force (based in Texas) so that must have been the first war to use airplanes. I am so glad that I can use my blog to entertain and teach serious history lessons too. This is why my readers are so smart!

I live within a mile of the Festival grounds so I am hoping that one of the balloons will land in my yard. I've got an anti-aircraft gun on my deck to "help" any balloon that might fly over decide to land here. I heard that when a hot air balloon lands in some one's yard, they have to give the humans a bottle of champagne, but I'm going to demand Bowser Beer instead. I want to try it, and so far, my humans have not ordered any for me so this is my chance! Normally, I don't approve of guns, but I have to assume that shooting at a balloon doesn't count since they aren't alive.

My humans used to go to the Balloonfest every year, but now it is too much walking for Mommy. This is the disadvantage of having older humans because they can't do as much as the younger ones. The advantage is that they usually spend more time with a dog! Angel Zoom Smokey knows how to work the system around here. The last time Mommy was sick and in bed, that rascal was getting 3 hour tummy rubs. I warned Mommy that Angel was going to be spoiled. Do the humans listen? All us dogs know they don't. Yes, Angel Zoom Smokey is one SPOILED dog!

Anyway, there is a bunch of stuff going on at the Festival including an arts and crafts show. There are people selling dog related items so I think I should be allowed to go there without the humans and look around. We dogs like to shop too! It wouldn't be any trouble for the humans. I can walk or drive myself. I happen to be a better driver than 75% of the human drivers on the road. I admit that the human drivers can hold up their middle fingers when they signal, and we dogs have trouble doing that, but I think I could learn to hold up a middle claw. If that is too difficult, I can get a fake hand to use when necessary.

I have to go now. It is time to sit out on the deck to "watch for the balloons. HAHAHAHAHA

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Wants to Attend the Local Balloonfest!)

New "Water Cooler"--Life is Good

I am happy to report that Mommy went and bought Angel Zoom Smokey and myself a new "water cooler", and this one is even bigger than the last one. This one holds 2 1/2 gallons of water. Now life can get back to normal and us dogs can solve world problems while hanging out at the water cooler again. I hope most large companies have more than one water cooler so that if a leak develops, they can still make major company decisions. BP definitely needed more than one because when their water cooler happened to spring a leak at the same time as their oil well in the Gulf, they were unable to make any corporate decisions because there was no water cooler around which the executives could discuss the problem. Now that the water cooler is back, there are several new ideas to fix the problem in the Gulf of Mexico. One of their highly inventive employees suggested adding truck loads of vinegar to create oil and vinegar salad dressing. I don't mean to be critical, but I think it is a different kind of oil that they use in the dressing. Dick Cheney called and suggested they send all the animals covered in oil to Guantanamo Bay because he says they are behind the leak. He says it was an elaborate plan to steal the oil. Why do you think he is in the hospital? He got shot by an angry pelican, but the government doesn't want the general public to know because it would cause panic. Pelicans do not take being accused of stealing lightly. When birds get guns, this dog gets upset because those evil birds have been stealing my snow and trying to take over the planet by causing global warming for years now. For those who have not read my theory, why do you think the birds show up and start singing just when the snow starts to melt? Coincidence? This dog is not buying it. So far, the best idea was mine to have cars drive up on the beach and fill up their cars with oil. As usual, the humans never listen to the wise advice of a dog. They like to keep trying their own silly ideas. By the way, if you think the pelicans are getting bad, be sure and avoid the swordfish--they are aching for a duel.

My town, Howell, Michigan, is having a Balloonfest this weekend. The hot air balloons are always fun to watch, but I have a suggestion for them to make it better. They should drop dog biscuits from the side of their balloon. All us dogs think this is a brilliant plan. They do have America's Best Frisbee dogs as entertainment, but I think dropping dog biscuits from the balloons would assure them of a larger audience of dogs.

I hope my readers are having a wonderful weekend, and let's hope that the leak in my water cooler is not some kind of national conspiracy.

Demon Flash Bandit (Happy Dog With New "Water Cooler")