Guard Duty

I didn't write a blog yesterday because I have been on guard duty.  Why am I on guard duty, you are asking?  I'm on guard duty because a bird has built a nest in the flower pot by the front door!!!!!!!!!!!!!  The bird did not ask for my permission and is not paying me any rent.  That nasty bird doesn't even drop a worm for me to examine.  The bird has 4 baby birds in the nest-like the world wants more of those evil, mooching varmints.  Besides, any worms in my yard are mine.  They are not---I repeat----not bird food!  To make matters worse, that bird attacked my human brother, Jeff, yesterday.  That was the last straw for me.   I've been on guard duty ever since.  It would be so easy to take out those baby birds now, but humom refuses to evict them..I have decided to be nice to them and give them a tour of the grounds.  I plan to start with the barbeque grill
  I am such a clever dog!!!!!

Demon Flash Bandit ( Guard Dog)

Movie Review: God's Not Dead

I haven't done a movie review in awhile so I'm reviewing one I watched on Netflex titled God's Not Dead.  This movie has a cameo appearance by Will and Corey Robertson of Duck Dynasty.  The movie is about a philosophy professor, an atheist, who makes all his students write God is dead during their first class.  One student refuses to do so even though he will fail the class if he refuses to write it.Because he refuses, the professor would allow him to pass the course if he can prove God's existence.    It seems to me that the whole idea of the movie is stupid.  If you write God is dead, then that statement should prove God's existence.  You had to exist in order to die.   I think that student should switch colleges-and do so as soon as possible.  What do I believe?  I know there is a God, and he sent me here to watch out for my humans.  In fact, God made dogs to take care of the humans.  Do I recommend the movie?  No, I don't.it was a melodramatic movie, and I would suggest you watch a cinematic masterpiece like Snow Dogs instead

Demon Flash Bandit (Movie Critic)

Brilliant Plan!

My humom bought a birdhouse that looks like a lighthouse.  At first, I'll admit I was upset until I realized that there is a method to her madness.  My regular readers know how much I hate birds.  I should have known that living with a smart dog like myself would make my humans smarter than those without dogs.  After we had a nice bark session, she assured me that  my many barkuments  about birds have not fallen on deaf ears even if mom's hearing isn't great!  I have to admit that the plan is brilliant.  She is going to buy a bird feeder, and fill it with gourmet bird seed with tranquilizers added.  Then all the birds will tell their friends and they will tell their friends.  Once millions of birds have congregated in my yard, it is a simple matter for a dog to get out his gun and shoot them.  I am so glad I have well trained humans!

Demon Flash Bandit ( Bird Hater)

Mooey's Story

This could be started by saying, "once upon a time",  but this is not a fairy tale.    I don't want to confuse the humans.  Heaven knows they are confused enough already. This actually happened.   Many centuries ago when my mom was young, she lived in a state called Georgia in a little hamlet called Ringgold.  I'm using the word, hamlet, because this dog loves ham and  its tasty counnterpart, bacon!

Mom attended high school there in the early 70's.  There was another student at the school when mom went there.  .  I'll call her "Mooey" to protect her actual identity.  Mooey was a very serious student who enjoyed attending school.  However, Mooey was a victim of discrimination.  Yes, we dogs aren't the only animals who face discrimination everyday.  Mooey was the victim of cow discrimination.

Every year, when the weather started getting hot, the teachers propped open the doors and opened all the windows to let air circulate.  The school did not have air conditioning.  This is when Mooey would use that opportunity to come to  class.  I do understand why the humans didn't want Mooey to attend.  They know that all the children would be copying Mooey's test paper.  How long would the teachers keep their jobs when the standardized tests show that Mooey did better without attending class everyday.  The humans do not want to admit that cows are smarter than them.  The school would look silly if the class valdictorian turned out to be a cow?  This is why so many intelligent cows end up in hamburgers and roast beef sandwiches.  No wonder the world is in such lousy shape.  It has humans making decisions they aren't smart enough to make!

I say let cows go to school!

Demon Flash Bandit ( Barking the Truth About Humans)

Campfire Stories

There was a time in the distant past when our ancestors were not allowed to live indoors.  Dogs used to hang out around the campfire  and bark among themselves about how nice it would be to live inside with the humans.  It sounds odd now, but that was a LONG time ago--at least a couple of decades ago back when dinosaurs still roamed the Earth!   That was before my ancestor, Demon Lord of the Huskies, saved the humans from the Horrible bird troll.  Even back then my family risked their life to protect the humans from evil birds.

Demon Flash Bandit ( Discussing Evil Birds)

I Love My Human!

I am sure all my pals have missed hearing from me.  I am equally frustrated because I have so many things about which to bark.  All of this is because my human fell down on her job--literally.  She fell on Friday night. She was not injured, but the fall made her too sore to "move".  Yeah, I realize she could be "faking" it, but  my human loves me too much to fake it.  At first, Angel and I were excited to have Mommy on the floor.  We thought she came down to play with us.  However, after about 5 minutes of Mom looking like a "beached whale" trying to get back into the water, I realized that she had fallen. I immediately brought her a whole box of milk bones to make her feel better.  She told me they did help her feel, better..She also told me that I'm a good dog--but I know that already!

Demon Flash Bandit (Concerned Dog)

Alligators Love water

You would think even the humans would possess some elementary knowledge of the care and feeding of animals.  Case in point:  I have a plush alligator squeaky toy and even though there are no gators in Michigan, I know rhey live in water so I put my gator in my water dish. .  I am a responsible toy owner

Demon Flash Bandit (Caring Dog)