Not Attending Flea Circus

I was recently invited to a flea circus-an invitation that got an immediate, no. Why would I want to see a flea circus when I hate fleas? I have yet to meet a dog who likes them. They are annoying creatures who annoy dogs and other species, including humans. They caused the bubonic plague many centuries ago, and I know they did it out of pure spite. Have you ever talked to a flea? I have, and they are truly obnoxious. They jump around thinking they are the most talented creatures in the universe because they can bite dogs and people. This is not something that I consider a talent. They are parasites and should be treated as such. Sure, you will meet one or two that are nice (for fleas anyway), but they can't be trusted. There is always one or two who are smarter than the rest and try not to act as obnoxious in an effort to have you let down your guard so they can snack on you. When you see a flea, kill it. It does not deserve to live so get rid of it. Be sure you don't attend any flea circuses. Those fleas are already full of themselves. If they think they are stars, they will be worse. No dog wants to deal with a super snobby flea!

Demon Flash Bandit (Not a Flea Fan)

I'll Take Some Flying Burgers, Thank You!

Humans in South Carolina saw some bright lights in the sky a couple of days ago. The lights have been explained as a bolide. This dog is not falling for this explanation partly because I have no idea what a bolide is. I've asked other dogs, and they have never heard of it either. Therefore, the "head humans" may fool the other humans giving silly names to things, but we dogs know that the aliens were here. They were probably getting a snack from a local restaurant. Many aliens are very fond of Earth food, and they stop in occasionally to pick up a carry-out order. I know when I go for a ride, I like to stop and get food so I'm going to assume that aliens think the same way since they are obviously an advanced civilization.

In other news, there was an incident of flying Cheetos at Lafayette High School in Indiana. This incident is good news for the aliens. If they can get food to start flying to them, they won't have to come to Earth to pick it up. Whenever they come here to pick up their food, it always excites the humans. I personally would love it too. I could sit here and call McDonalds and tell them to have a burger fly to my house when I am hungry. It beats having to go and get it!

Demon Flash Bandit (Flying Food Delivery)

I'm Ready to Place My Order for the Pet Book K-9 Laptop

Imagine my dismay when I discovered that the coolest product ever to be on the market was an April Fool's Day joke. Toshiba had a webpage showing a computer for dogs. It can be found at this address: http://us.toshiba.com/petbook Yes, the first laptop computer for dogs. There are 3 models: K9-514 for $329.99, K9-515 for $369.99, and K9-517 for $399.99 I was ready to place my order for the K9-517, and then I saw at the bottom of the page that it was just an April Fool's Joke. This dog did not find it to be funny nor did I appreciate the site making it sound like a computer for dogs would be silly to make. I am blogging on a computer right now so it is about time the humans at Toshiba take note that I'm not the only dog using a computer to write a blog everyday! It is truly a "dream computer" for us dogs starting with its delicious 100% organic rawhide casing which "keeps data safe and tasty", the built in DoggyCam with microphone for inter-canine conferencing, and the pawprint reader for added security and convenience. The paw swipe log-in which gives a dog access to important files and programs with no username or passwords needed is a genius idea. The bone-shaped touchpad for easy browing and navigation is a dream come true for a dog on the Internet. The slobber resistant design is so important to protect a dog's computer investment. You might ask, why am I writing about a product that does not exist? There is a good reason for this blog. I think the good folks at Toshiba have the right idea and now they need to get it into production. This dog thinks that it will sell a lot better than they think. Some car companies are even considering us dogs when they build their cars. I think this product could give Toshiba an edge in the computer arena. HP, Gateway, Dell and Apple have not even thought of building a computer for us dogs. By the way, if anyone in their "new product" division is reading this, it would be nice to add a bowl for snacks since some dogs do enjoy a snack while they are on the computer! Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Needs a PetBook K-9)