Forget the Halloween Costume: I'm Going to Dress as Demon Flash Bandit

Mommy went shopping yesterday, and she came home with something for Angel Zoom Smokey and myself, which normally would make us both very happy. This was not the case yesterday. As it turns out, it is getting near enough to Halloween for the stores to be carrying Halloween items, and Mommy found (in her words), "the cutest costumes and she just HAD to buy them". I'm not saying they aren't cute--hanging in the store or on another dog, but we go through this every year with Mommy. Do the humans ever learn? Did the cute outfits from past Halloweens that Mommy could not get us to wear teach her nothing? She got a Devil costume for me--complete with a "forked" tail. My own tail is gorgeous, and she buys me a costume with a dumb looking tail. She thought the outfit was "cute" since my name is Demon. She got Angel a Pirate costume-complete with skull and crossbones on the back. No self respecting dog wants to wear a costume with a bone drawn on it. We want bones to eat. Angel took off as soon as she saw the costumes, but I hung around long enough for Mommy to check out the size, and the one advantage for us is that I think Mommy will have to take them back because the Large size is not big enough. Now she is looking for dog costumes on the Internet. Why can't Halloween just stick with the good part--the candy and not involve costumes? I, for one, would love to see dog costumes banned for all time. At least she didn't buy us the "cute ladybug" costume. We dogs do have our limits as to what we will put up with even from humans we love.

Demon Flash Bandit (Halloween Costumes Are Not Meant for Dogs)

Captain Demon Flash Bandit

I overheard my humans talking about taking a cruise so, naturally, I was a bit curious as to what a cruise on a boat would be like. From what I found in my research, I can only say "ahoy mates, and shiver me dingo bones, I'm ready to go on a cruise". There are many cruise lines from which to choose, but I personally would recommend Salty Sam's Pirate Cruise in Fort Myers, Florida. When you go on this cruise, you will become a pirate, and you will sail on the ship, Pieces of Eight. Pieces of Eight is a replica of a Spanish galleon, and you will sail around the Gulf of Mexico pillaging and plundering, and generally scaring the fish. This is a lot more difficult that it sounds because, thanks to BP and their oil spill, fish do not scare as easily as they used to so you have to work harder to scare them. I assume that this cruise is for humans, but I can dress in clothing, and the humans will never know that I'm a dog. I can speak human, and they will just think I'm better looking that the average humans on the ship. If I dress as Capt. Jack Sparrow, they might think I'm Johnny Depp, but of course, they will be telling me how much more handsome I am in person. Little would they know I would be "in dog". Yes, I am so clever. I'm sure I would be promoted to Captain Demon Flash Bandit before the voyage is over. No human would ever suspect that I'm a dog. I wonder if we are going to go and find some treasure or maybe that fountain of youth mentioned in the last Pirates of the Caribbean movie. I think that fountain would be a nice thing to find because my human Mommy is getting really old and could use some of that special water.

Anyway, if you hear your humans planning a cruise, make sure you tell them about the pirate cruises. If they aren't planning a cruise, book one for yourself. A dog can use a fun vacation too.

Demon Flash Bandit (Pirate Dog)