Pet Tax Deductions

Several days ago I wrote about possibly winning the mega millions lottery which I did buy a ticket for and did not win. Who would have expected that outcome? Anyway, I was writing about how I should not have to pay taxes on a winning lottery number since I'm a dog and a dog does not qualify for government benefits nor can we be declared as dependents on our humans taxes. (This is for the United States-other countries might be more progressive with dogs). Today I did see that congress is considering allowing the humans to declare the money they spend on their pets as tax deductions. I doubt that it will pass, but I think it is time for the humans and all us dogs to start a letter writing campaign. I bet the politicians haven't stopped to think that many dogs don't bother to vote so I think the humans had better step back and let us dogs be heard. Then maybe they would get our votes. There are dogs running cities, and I'm thinking about running for President. If you ask me, we dogs couldn't do any worse running things than the humans anyway. Here is more information on the subject:
http://money.msn.com/tax-tips/post.aspx?post=5cf66966-07f6-4eae-bf0f-09bceeb94824

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Wants to be a Tax Deduction)

I'm Not a Lottery Winner!

I have bad news today. I did not win the mega millions lottery yesterday. Did you know that dogs aren't allowed to buy tickets? However, I had the human buy a ticket for me so I had a ticket and I chose the numbers. Who would have thought I would not win? Does the lottery not realize how cute I would have looked picking up the giant check? Many of the humans would have loved that photo! Then lottery sales would increase because you would hear the humans saying, "if a dog can win, then you know I probably will win too". Actually, I was not surprised that I did not win since the chances of winning the lottery are virtually non-existent. It is just too bad that the "cute factor" does not figure in or us dogs would win every time we buy a ticket. For those of you who are wondering, I am still a happy dog. I had McDonalds burgers for dinner, and I have a nice soft bed to sleep and I enjoy hanging out with my humans. I really think those are the important things. Food, shelter, and love.....if you have those things, then I think you are already a winner!

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Did Not Win the Lottery)

I Want to Be The First Dog Lottery Winner!

Since the mega millions lottery is at a record high level, this dog is planning to buy a ticket. After all, half a billion dollars will buy a lot of dingo bones even after taxes. I should check into that....does a dog have to pay taxes? It does not seem fair since we aren't allowed to be tax deductions for our humans, receive government aid or even collect social security-not that I have ever met a dog who is 65 in human years. Anyway, it would still be a lot of money, and since the "experts" say that if you should win, you should consult with an expert, I have already prepared just in case I do win. The expert is the best financial genius that I could ever find--myself. I have decided to take the money in one lump sum and, after buying a truck load of dingo bones, milkbones, and treats, and putting some money away for future treats, then I will use part of the money to invest in companies which I believe in and support. The companies are: dingo bones, milkbones, McDonalds, Wendy's, Arbys, etc. Most will be food related because both dogs and humans have to eat to survive so I think these companies make the most sensible investments. The rest I will donate to dogs in shelters who need to find homes. Now I must go and dream about all the dingo bones I am going to buy with the jackpot. I will also make news as the first dog to win! Then I will write a book about my experiences and the profits from it will go to the dogs in shelters. I won't need them anyway.

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Plans to Buy a Ticket for the Lottery)

Big Lottery Winner!

I recently enjoyed a tasty fortune cookie in which the fortune read that I would soon be getting some money. I have written in the past about the amazing accurancy of fortune cookies, but even I was astounded at the accuracy of the fortune. It hasn't even been a month, and this dog is now a super rich lottery winner. After receiving that good fortune, I decided to walk into a store and purchase a lottery ticket. I know this would be hard for many dogs because dogs aren't allowed in most stores. However, I walked in and no one noticed that I am a dog because of my gorgeous blue eyes. Since most dogs don't have blue eyes, it makes it easy to trick the humans. I thought perhaps the lady at the counter would give me trouble because I'm officially not old enough to buy a ticket, but since I am an adult dog, I guess I looked old enough that she did not ask for any identification. I handed her $1.00 for a ticket, and it was a winner. Yes, folks, it was a $2.00 winner. Now I have officially doubled my money, and instead of only $1.00, I have $2.00. I'm so glad I heeded the fortune cookie and bought that ticket. Even fortune cookies can't buy the lottery tickets for you. Sometimes you have to take matters into your own paws, and take a risk. I'm sure some of you may be wondering--will I still write the blog now that I am a super rich lottery winner? The answer is yes. I still plan to write the blog. Of course, I will be discussing with the tax attorney I plan to hire the possibility of using it as a tax deduction. When you win the big bucks, it is best to hire a professional to handle the money for you. I am also considering investing some money in the Arctic Paws Company because they make the Yummy Chummie dog treats, and they are delicious. Maybe I'll just invest in the treats and eat them. You can't go wrong with an investment in food.

Demon Flash Bandit (Big Lottery Winner)