Wonderful Wizard Who is a Dog!

Today's blog is the story of a heroic dog named Toto. Toto lived with his uncle and aunt in a farm in Kansas until one day a tornado hit, and he was transported to a magical land over the rainbow. This land was filled with dogs and was a very happy place except for some evil witch birds. Toto's house landed on the wicked bird witch of the East and the rest of the time in this land, he had to deal with her evil sister, the wicked witch bird of the West. Toto wanted to get home to his family. The chihuahuas who met him when he landed told him he should see the Wizard, who could find a magical way to get him home. They told him to follow the Dingo Bone Road. He set out to find the Wizard, and along the way he ended up with some travelling companions. He met the Scarecrow--the bird that needed a brain (like that isn't true of all birds). He met the robot dog who needed a heart, and the cowardly cat who needed courage. They went along the road singing this song:





We're off to see the Wizard, the Wizard who is a dog.
He really is a wizacle dog if ever a wizard dog there was.
Because of the wonderful things he does, the wizard of dog is a dog because
because...because....because.....because....BECAUSE
Because of the wonderful dog he is.
We're off to see the Wizard, the wonderful wizard whose a dog!

Despite being a prisoner of the evil witch bird of the West for a short time, they made it to the Wizard, and all their dreams came true. What else would you expect? The wizard was a dog--not a stupid human who would make them face the Wicked Bird Witch of the West for a broom.

Demon Flash Bandit (Telling the Story of the Wizard of Dog)

Robot Demon Flash Bandit

I was chosen as a diary pick today on www.dogster.com. I told the humans to rent me a limo so I can be driven around in style as a dog of my accomplishments deserves.

The recent royal wedding captured the interest of many of the humans. However, I found a wedding video that is more interesting and I want to share it with my readers.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/09/02/pekingese-wedding-video-vintage-and-freaky-_n_946430.html
If you go to this site, I think you will agree with me. I enjoyed this wedding much, much better than the royal wedding.

Since I am a Siberian Husky, it just happens that I shed a lot of my fur. Some of the humans complain about this fact, but who cares what they think? Humans complain about just about everything anyway. I happen to be happy that we shed so much. Being a practical dog, I have found a use for all that fur. I am building a robot Demon Flash Bandit. There are times when a robot of dogself can be useful. For example, I like to take naps, and I have a special spot in the living room by the French doors. That area has a slate floor so it is cool, and I can look outside and enjoy the view of the things happening out there. Sometimes, while I'm in the middle of a nice nap, the humans call my name and expect me to come. Of course, many times I don't bother, but if I had a robot dog, I could send it instead. The humans would be happy, and I would not have to be disturbed from my nap. In face, the robot dog is almost finished, and I hate to brag (okay, I love to brag), I did an excellent job building it. I'm going to send it on a practice run to let Angel Zoom Smokey annoy it. That way she won't be bothering me. I am truly a doggy genius!!

Demon Flash Bandit (Doggy Genius)

Demon Flash Bandit---Real Dog

If you attended the Toy Fair 2011, you might have run across Perfect Petzzz. These are dogs that look real and even breathe, but they are fake. This dog is annoyed that they are referred to as "perfect pets" If you ask this dog, this company is insulting dogs everywhere by calling fake dogs "perfect". Do these fake dogs have "accidents" in the house? Do they need to be walked? Do they need a doggy door? Do you have to let them go outside to "do their business"? Do they decorate the house with muddy paw prints? Do they bark when an intruder approaches your house? I could go on and on, but you get the idea. I think it is about time we dogs build a "perfect human", you know--one with a working brain. What is the point of a fake dog anyway? That dog won't jump around excitedly when you come home after being gone. A fake dog won't kiss you or clean the floor when you drop food. A fake dog won't keep you company when you are feeling depressed. A fake dog won't ride in the car with you with his head out the window. No self respecting dog has ever asked for a fake human because we know that fake humans are usually mannequins. Only dogs could build a fake human with a brain, and we aren't going to bother because it is a waste of our valuable nap time. I want to assure my readers that this blog is being written by an actual dog--not a fake dog. A fake dog would never be able to write a blog. Personally, I think this is a conspiracy among members of the royal family who have bribed a toy company to produce an exact replica of me to attend the royal wedding. I don't see the point because there is no way a fake dog at the royal wedding can pass as me. When the paparazzi notice that the dog isn't doing anything other than breathing, they are going to realize that the dog is a fake. In fact, what if it turns out to be an evil robot dog? It can happen. In the movie Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey, they had to deal with robots of themselves who they referred to as Evil Robot Us-es. Don't worry, Bo Obama is going to make sure there are some special secret service agents at the wedding just so they can make sure that an Evil Robot Demon Flash Bandit doesn't cause any mayhem. Only the real me is allowed to create mayhem.

Demon Flash Bandit (Real Dog)