Earthquake Caused By Birds!

An earthquake shook the eastern part of the United States yesterday. I read what the geologists had to say about it. It was a bunch of silly dribble about fault lines which I suspect are called fault lines so the humans will have something on which to blame the earthquake.

Regular Humans:Why did the earthquake happen?
Scientist Human: That line was at fault so we are calling it a "fault line".

It takes a dog to find the real answers which I am going to share in my blog today. The thing that caused the earthquake was the enemy that I am constantly warning about in my blog: BIRDS. Yes, you read correctly. Birds are evil creatures that are trying to take over the planet. Before you say, Demon Flash Bandit, how is this possible, I will explain. There are some species of birds that burrow under the Earth. Among these are puffins, kingfishers, and bee-eaters. These birds got together and decided to stage an all out attack by burrowing together. Thus, they made the Earth move and caused some damage to the Washington Monument in the process. This was a deliberate attack on Washington DC and our memorials. How many times does a dog have to warn the humans about the evil birds before they are eradicated? Some of the humans have some stupid conspriacy ideas to try to explain the earthquakes, but none of them have found the real answer--birds. I hope that this blog wakes the humans up to the treachery of the birds. By the way, if the humans ever listen and decide to eradicate the birds, I hope they will also get rid of their cousins, the fleas. Fleas have no use and should not exist. I've discussed this subject with dogs all over the world and all us dogs hate them. Even the humans aren't fond of them so you know they are really bad. I hope that the birds can be stopped before they take over the planet.

Demon Flash Bandit (Evil Birds Cause Earthquake)

Items in the News

This dog would like to express my sadness at the loss of life and all the destruction that has affected Japan. As if the earthquake and tsunami weren't bad enough, the problems with the nuclear power plant is making it even more devastating. My prayers go out to the people affected by this great tragedy! I personally don't know why the humans use nuclear power plants to power things anyway. It seems to me that they could find a safer method, but of course, that would probably take the kind of genius that only us dogs possess.

Another news item that I found interesting is about a man in Gainesville, Florida who bought a printer at Walmart so he could print counterfeit United States currency. He tried to use the money at a local restaurant, and they refused to take it. He has been arrested, and I'm wondering if in addition to charges of counterfeiting, perhaps he was also charged with stupidity. I think even most birds know that printers and paper from Walmart won't make realistic looking United States currency.

Demon Flash Bandit (Commenting on the News)