Court Planet Television

When the moon hits your eye Like a big-a pizza pie That's amore. This is the start of a song, but this song makes no sense to this dog so I am re-writing it in a more up-dated fashion. When the moon hits your eye like a big-a pizza pie, that's a lawsuit. This brings me to my point for today. When did the mooon start assaulting people and who does one sue when it happens? In this case, do you sue the moon itself which seems useless since the moon has no money. Do you sue the man in the moon since he must be in control? Do you sue the pizzaria for allowing them to hit you with a pizza--or is the whole pizza thing figurative? Do you sue in court here on Earth or is there some court planet where you can take the case. Can you watch it on television like the court shows? I can just see it now.....Judge Yakayak from the planet Zeldoid is the judge for today's case which will be heard right after this message from our sponsor....Moon Mist from the nice humans at Faygo. It tastes like mists from the moon. Then of course, someone will be writing a newspaper article asking which moon they are talking about since there are moons on other planets. Wait...the commercial is over...Judge Yahayak is speaking. Hello space people, the case today is about the Moon hitting an Earth person in the eye. The first witness is....Mr. Pepperoni Pizza. Swear him in....Mr. Pizza swears on some moon rocks that he will tell the truth, the entire truth, and nothing but the best ingredients truth. The trial is then interrupted by a riot in which the hungry people in court decide to eat Mr. Pizza. The case is dismissed due to lack of witnesses, and the moon got by with hitting the Earthling in the eye. The whole purpose of this blog is to warn my readers....if the moon starts heading for you, you had better move out of the way. No one wants to get hit in the eye like a big pizza pie. I know....I sent out a survey, and only 10% like to be hit in the eye like that. The other 90% want the moon to mind its own business.

Demon Flash Bandit (Warning About the Moon)

Vending Machines for Dogs-- A Great Idea!!!!

Vending machines--now they have them with pet products. Yes, it is nice to know that there are vending machines that have wonderful pet products for the humans to buy. When a dog is in the mood for a snack, the dog's human can put some money into a machine and buy the dog a treat. Actually, I am glad they have tasty treats like Bit O Luv and Yummy Chummies in the machines, but when it comes to food, I have no problem with the ice cream machines and the ones who give the humans peanut butter crackers, etc. However, when I learned that they have vending machines with dog toys, that made me happy. Sure, I am perfectly happy eating a human ice cream, but what do you do when you want to play with a ball or a frisbee and there are none available? If you are in a pet vending area, you can buy a toy like that from the machine. That has to be the coolest development in doggy marketing ever. I actually have a machine here at home where I can press the bone, and it gives me a treat. The big difference is that here at home, I don't have to pay any money for the treats. I think this is a wonderful idea, and I'm not sure why the humans didn't think of vending machines for dogs earlier. The only bad thing is that the humans never know when to stop with their ideas. They have also invented a vending machine that "gives a dog a bath". I am against this vending machine for the obvious reason that I don't like baths, and as I have mentioned in an earlier blog under rules for training humans, humans should not be allowed to bathe a dog unless they have written and notarized permission from the dog. Some humans ignore this and continue to bathe dogs without permission, but should the dog decide to have them arrested and taken to court, if they do not have the proper documentation, they would face serious penalties. In fact, they could be put in prison if the judge happens to be a dog. I wonder how many of the humans realize just how serious a matter this is. Judge Beatrice Beagle sent 3 humans to jail last month for that very reason on her television program, Doggy Court. If you haven't watched Doggy Court, you should. I love one of the lawyers on there, Larry the Labrador. You had better watch out if you go up against him. He represented Polly the Pit Bull last month and he got her humans 6 months in prison for the bath they gave her without permission, and they also have to do 300 hours of community service. I hope they have learned their lesson. Polly said the trauma of the bath still bothers her. She gets scared every time she sees a bathtub, and she is having to see a therapist. Anyway, vending machines with dog stuff--an idea whose time has come!

Demon Flash Bandit (I'll Take A Ball and a Frisbee, Please)