Vikings Gave Us Ancient Dog Kings

I have mentioned many times in my blogs that I think a dog should be running things because the humans do such a bad job of it. Today I discovered that there have been dogs who were running things. Swedish Vikings, when they conquered the Danish tribes, set up a dog as king. The dog was a terrier named Rakkae. When King Rakkae died, his successor was another dog, a poodle, named King Snio. Until now, I did not realize just how intelligent and ahead of their time the Vikings were. Sure, all of us who know anything about world history know that they were great warriors and they were great sailors, but I had no idea that they had such a knack for choosing great leaders. I'm sure the Danish people must have been thrilled to finally be ruled by a dog instead of a silly human. I have often heard the expression, "something is rotten in Denmark", and only now do I understand what it is saying. The expression came about when the dogs were replaced by humans again....the people knew that having humans rule them once again would be rotten.

The Vikings were a fascinating group. They wore armor helmets with horns on top. This was to emulate bulls who can be quite scary if they are charging toward you with their horns ready to gore you. It was the latest innovation in warfare. In fact, it was on par with the human who first invented the stick as a weapon. Yeah, that was discovered by an ancient caveman, named Al, who has left detailed drawings on how to make weapon sticks. The early sticks were just picked up off the ground, but later on, as the weapon became more sophisticated, they would carve a point to make the stick more effective on the enemy.

Anyway, the Vikings lived a long time ago--probably 50 or 60 years ago which is so long ago that I don't know any dogs who can remember that far back. The Vikings even made it to the "new world". We know this by the Ikea furniture stores that dot the landscape of the United States. I have no idea why they would ever want to leave such a paradise as the north. Being a husky, I think their land sounds wonderful.

We owe a lot to the Viking culture since they had the good sense to put a dog in charge. I think it is about time a dog was put in charge again--which is why I plan to toss my tail into the Presidential election in 2012.

Demon Flash Bandit (Salute to Vikings)

Human Fashion Approved by Demon Flash Bandit

Today I have decided to discuss fashion. Of course, this is not dog fashion because, if there is one thing I hate it is having the humans decided to dress me in some ridiculous outfit that they think looks "cute" on me. Of course it looks cute on me, but I am just as cute without it so why bother? The humans spend a great deal of time and money picking out just the right item to wear, and I think I can solve this problem because I have decided to go into the fashion industry myself. I have come up with a plan to make things much easier for the humans in the fashion arena. I have seen some lovely t-shirts with dogs on them. My humans have several Siberian husky shirts, and I think they look bettter than anything else in their closet. It does not have to be a husky, it can be a poodle, or even a chihuahua, but as long as it is a dog, it looks great.

Since humans aren't logical thinkers like us dogs, you have to explain things to them like you would bark to a puppy. I will start with business suits. If they were replaced by dog t-shirts, that person would seem a lot more honest, and other humans would feel better about doing business with them so why are the humans wearing suits when a dog t-shirt would be much better for business? If you meet another human on the street that you don't know, seeing them in a dog t-shirt would make them seem a lot friendlier and more approachable which means that the humans would get along better. T-shirts are comfortable to wear and would help keep the humans cool in warmer weather. As you can see, my idea would bring peace and prosperity to the world, align the planets, and stop global warming. To make sure that the humans get the best looking t-shirts, I am even thinking about putting my face on a t-shirt. What could be better than a Demon Flash Bandit shirt? I can't think of anything better.

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog With Ideas)