Town for Sale

It is not unusual for the humans to decide to sell their houses and move, but there is a place where a dog can buy the entire town. The town of Scenic, South Dakota is for sale, and can be purchased for a mere $799,000. The town includes a saloon, a store, 2 post offices, a dance hall, a museum, etc. For someone who wants an "authentic" western town, this would be a great deal. This dog thinks it would be interesting to own. I can see a lot of potential for the place as a tourist attraction.....and if they are smart enough to get dogs to run the places, I think the humans would be showing up there in droves. For those who are interested in finding out more about the town, the web address is:

http://realestate.msn.com/blogs/listedblogpost.aspx?post=f9af8bbf-80b5-4f2f-ad86-d23f3e7e9c5d&GT1=35006

I told Mommy that I was interested in buying the town since I can always buy a McDonalds franchise and build one there, but Mommy said I have no money in my bank account. Since when did us dogs not have bank accounts started for us when we are puppies? Many of the human puppies have colllege accounts, and all us dogs know how stupid the human puppies are. Quite frankly, the human parents are far more optimistic about their human puppies intelligence than are us dogs. Have you observed the human puppies? I could feed myself and walk around and was ready to "conquer" the world when I was about 6 weeks old. The human puppies hang around and expect their parents to take care of them for years. Most of them don't even learn to walk until they are about a year old. Talk about stupidity. Even birds learn and get pushed out of the nest faster than that. I think this dog is going to have to take financial matters into my own paws, but the only thing that bothers me is that the humans expect you to work for money, and that would seriously interrupt my nap time. I guess I'll have to use my next nap to contemplate this situation and come up with a genius plan for getting money without working. Maybe I'll write the Queen Lady for advice. Her family seems to have plenty of money and they don't show up for work.

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Without a Bank Account)

Mummies Need Bandages

When you happen to go down the first aid aisle of your favorite store, you will see a vast array of bandages. These bandages are often overlooked when there has been no injury, but it is nice to know that they are available when they are needed. This means that if the price of bandages go up, most people don't even notice right away. However, there is one group that you are likely to see protesting outside the store about the rising costs. That group is the mummies among us. Imagine how much they have to spend to cover themselves entirely in bandages! Sure, if they would stick in their cases in the museums, it would not be a problem, but judging from the amount of movies that have had mummies in them, they don't like to hang out at the museum when they can be causing mayhem in the regular world. I have never seen a mummy personally, but if I did, I would ask him how many times he changes his bandages. What if I need some bandages and he has wiped out the bandage section at the store? It would be important to know this in advance so that a dog can stock up on necessities. I have had a few people suggest that I write a money saving book for mummies. I think it would be much cheaper for them to buy some white linens and cut them up and use them as bandages. Since the mummies are dead anyway, I don't think they need to worry about the bandages being sterile. It isn't like an infection is going to bother them. Personally, it does my heart good to know that there are nice mummies who are protesting rising prices instead of the meaner ones who are chasing after everyone.

Demon Flash Bandit (Reporting on Mummies)