New Light Bulbs--Not a Good Idea

The last GE plant in Winchester, Virginia that produces incandescent light bulbs has now permanently closed. Thomas Edison's great invention is being replaced by a bunch of overpriced stupid looking light bulbs. They are supposed to be more energy efficient, but this dog has his doubts about that. I think the companies that make them are just pushing them because they cost more. Besides, the worst part of this new change is that everyone knows that when you get a good idea, a light bulb appears over your head. I'm sorry if having a weird squiggly looking thing appearing over your head just does not have the same kind of connotations. Maybe it will in years to come, but right now, if I looked at someone and saw a new style light bulb, I would have to assume that it is a stupid idea. How will we continue coming up with technological advances when the humans are all having stupid ideas instead of good ones?

As anyone who has watched a horror movie knows, light is very important. Most monstrous creatures choose to come out at night when it is dark. I hope this switch to new light bulbs does not cause some major problems in letting more monsters cause mayhem in our streets at night. I have watched enough old monster movies to know just how serious this can be. Those movies take place before light bulbs were invented, and Dracula, for example, was always out drinking blood at night. In fact, there was a commercial back then that advertised Blood: Vampire's kool-aid. The kool-aid man used to step out looking like a bag of blood and he would say, "oh yeah, type AB negative". Eventually a lot of humans had to join BDA (Blood Drinker's Anonymous) to kick the habit. Vampires do not join since they actually have to drink blood.

There was also a cool commercial that used to play during the same time period. For those of you who wonder where the villagers got the pitchforks so fast, the commercial was for Pitchforks R Us. They had a cool commercial with Paul the Pitchfork as their spokestool. There was even a song, "I don't to use my hands, I'm a Pitchforks are Us Kid. There are lots of Pitchforks at Pitchforks R Us that I can poke a vampire with". Needless to say, it was not a popular store with the vampire community. In honor of the movie, Twilight, the humans have formed a new team---Team Pitchfork. The vampires aren't too happy about that either.

I have some shopping to do so I had better mush off the computer. I think I'll go and buy myself a new pitchfork. One can never have too many of them when Halloween is approaching.

Demon Flash Bandit (Not a Fan of Stupid Looking New Light Bulbs)

I'm a Rap Dogg

Last night I was sitting around watching television when I had one of my brilliant ideas. I could tell it was a true work of genius because I could see that light bulb over my head that always shows up when an idea is of genius quality. I have been wondering if I there is a career path I should be following, and that is when the idea arrived. I should be a rapper. My name is Demon Flash Bandit. Although I am a sweet dog, and the name is a ironic, Demon is still a great name for a rapper. Bandit is also a wonderful name since it implies that I steal stuff. I mostly steal hearts, and that brownie Mommy had in her hand last week, but in the entertainment industry, you don't have to stick with facts. When Mommy and Jeff went to the Star Trek convention in Las Vegas a few years ago, Angel Zoom Smokey and myself were left in a kennel, which is doggy jail so I have street credibility due to my incarceration in the kennel. I live about 2 hours from Detroit so I can talk about my life on the streets of Detroit. I realize that the streets of Howell aren't exactly the same, but Howell has its share of low lifes too. For example, there is a coyote that lives in the neighborhood. I think he is a drug dealer because he is always hiding so I'm assuming he is wanted by the police. I know that you can't always listen to rumors, but the beavers and the feral cats are not fond of him, and they keep hoping the police will drag him to coyote jail. I have not had the heart to tell them that I think this area isn't that hard on crime because there is a special jail that coyotes like him can go to, and it is kind of easy time if you ask me. To make the animals feel better, they don't even call it prison--it is called the Howell Nature Center. Humans make sure the animals there are fed and taken care of. I personally think you should be tougher on criminals, but sometimes the justice system is just too lax.



I'm sure by now you understand why I would be such a convincing rap star. I would probably be close pals with Snoop Dogg since he is also a Dogg, and I have to give the humans in rap credit for complimenting each other by calling each other dogs. If you ask me, that is the ultimate compliment a human can receive. Like Snoop Dogg, I would also be willing to be in movies as long as the pay is good.



I've even written some rap songs which will be released soon since I have already signed a contract with a recording company. Look for them on the Great Dane label.

1. Dog in the Hood
2. That Bitch was Best of her Breed
3. Dealing With The Hu-MAN
4. Don't Mess with my Food.
5. Keep Your Paws off My Bone

I am going to be a busy dogg once I start touring, but I will continue to keep my fans updated on my latest activities with this blog.

Demon Flash Bandit (Future Rap Star)