Drivers License for Dogs

I have been wanting to drive a car since I was a puppy, but the humans told me that it is necessary to have a drivers license in order to drive a car, and that dogs aren't allowed to have a license to drive. I have been speaking out on this injustice since puppyhood, and I am pleased to announce that today I am going to share some information with my readers on how to get a license to drive if you are a "pet". The web address is:
http://www.mypetdmv.com/
For a mere $19.95, a dog can have his own license issued from his home state. These licenses are only good for dogs in the United States so dogs in other countries will have to keep after their own local governments to allow them to have a license of their own. I have often said that, judging from some of the maniacs on the road who happen to be human, that many of us dogs would be better drivers. It is nice that the humans are finally beginnning to realize that simple fact. I hope that all the dogs reading this will get their own license. You never know when you will need to take over the steering wheel for your human! I only hope that cats aren't allowed to get them. Cats should not be allowed to drive. They have 9 lives so they take too many unnecessary risks.

Demon Flash Bandit (Happy About Doggy Drivers License)

Demon Flash Bandit: Dog Who Wants a Driver's License

I have a brilliant new plan for getting to drive the car. I know I have mentioned in the past the unfairness of the humans' rule about not allowing dogs to get driver's licenses. I think most dogs would make excellent drivers with the possible exception of small dogs like chihuahuas who aren't big enough to see over the steering wheel. Of course, I can see the humans making small dog accessible cars for them once most dogs start driving. But I digress, the topic of today's blog is my brilliant plan to prove once and for all to the humans that dogs would be great drivers. My plan it to have a bumper sticker made that says "how is my driving?" and put the phone number of the local police department on the bumper sticker. Then I will sneak the car keys from Mommy's purse when she isn't paying attention. When I am out on the road, people will see the bumper sticker and start calling law enforcement to tell them what a good driver I happen to be. Once the police realize how good us dogs can drive, there will be no reason to ban us from getting a driver's license. This plan won't work for cats. Toonses the cat from Saturday Night Live has ruined their reputation for driving. Personally, I think cats are too careless since they know they have so many lives.

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Wants a Driver's License)

Cars: Not Just Machines, They Have Dreams Too!

I am a dog who enjoys a good ride particularly a ride to Burger King, but even if I don't go to BK, I still enjoy taking a nice ride in the car. This brings me to today's blog topic---I have been observing car names, and I don't think a lot of cars are happy being cars. Before you dismiss my theory, I am going to offer proof.

Many cars want to be animals. If they didn't want to be animals, why would they have names like Mustang, Cougar, Jaguar, Rabbit, Maverick, and Pinto? Of all of these cars, it seems that types of horses are most popular. I can understand that since cars replaced horses and horses are probably happy they did. I know I'm a sled dog, and I'm glad I don't have to pull the humans around. Now the horses can graze all day in a nice pasture without the humans annoying them to take them places.

Some cars have other ideas about what they want to be. Some want to be snakes. These cars are the Cobra, Copperhead, and Viper. A couple of cars want to be insects judging by the Super Bee, , Spyder, and the Beetle (which is often referred to as a bug). Some cars want to be birds--don't ask me why a car would want to be an evil varmint like a bird because I know I would never want to be a bird. Those cars are the Firebird, the Thunderbird (which I think meant sacred bearer of happiness to the Native Americans), and the Falcon. The Rolls Royce Phantom isn't sure if it even wants to be anything. I suppose it would prefer not to be seen if the car was given a choice.

I have to tell you that it is a compliment that one car wants to be me. Yes, the Dodge Demon is aspiring to be a dog and not just any dog, Demon Flash Bandit, to be specific. I am so honored that the car wants to be me. I can't blame the car. I do live a good life, and I don't have to haul humans around all day. Another car aspiring to be a dog is the Cadillac Snoope de Ville. That car is a tribute to my favorite rap dog, Snoop Dogg. When I see a successful dog like him, I realize that all us dogs can reach our full potential if we put our paws forward and keep trying.

One car in particular wants to be a beverage and that car is the Suzuki Cappucino. I know that the car must have a coffee maker hooked up to the cigarette lighter. You know with a name like that, you shouldn't have to stop for coffee. The Aztek wants to be an entire tribe, and I'm glad to see a car with that kind of ambition. The Charger is the most popular car among cars because it's job is to charge batteries for other cars. One car even admits it wants to cause trouble because it wants to be a Gremlin. If you own one of those cars, do not, I repeat, DO NOT put gas in the car after midnight.

Some cars have names that even this dog was surprised to learn--The Daihatsu Naked is happy being a car, but does not want to be painted. The Toyota Deliboy is only happy when it is delivering food to humans. I have no comment for the Isuzu 20 Light Dump because I bet I know what all my readers are thinking. I just hope it is a dump truck. If it is a family car, that would just be sad. Another car that is very popular with the single men is the Volugrato Bimbo. I don't even think I need to explain why is it popular with men.

I know some of you may be wondering why a dog came up with all these car names. I think it is about time I had my own car. The humans say I'm not allowed to drive and can't get a driver's license. Who put the humans in charge anyway. I know I didn't. I hope everyone has a nice weekend, and TGIF.

Demon Flash Bandit (Car Want to Have Fun)