Human Training Tip!

For the benefit of the puppies out there reading this who have not gotten your humans fully trained yet, I am going to write this blog to give you some tips. I know that, as a dog, we like to make our humans happy, but you have to be careful not to spoil them. This is one of the most important tips to remember in training the humans. A spoiled human could begin to think that they are in charge, and then they are even harder to train. For example, this morning, my human called me because she wanted me to come over so she could pet me. Sure, I find this kind of attention pleasant, but it would also involve me getting up and walking at least 5 steps. (I know this because I did the calculations while I was laying there resting.) Therefore, I did not go to her. I looked at her and let her know I appreciated her kind thoughts. However, if I had gotten up and went to her, she might have gotten the idea that she is in charge when it is me that runs this place! Eventually, I did allow her to pet me, but she had to come to me and then it was a reward for her being a good human. This is very important. Rewards should be given when the humans do something good. In this case, she walked the steps to me. Remember, you are a dog and as such, have important things to do with your time. Obviously, the humans aren't good at budgeting their time because many of them spend a lot of their time at work. From my observation, work is not fun, and most of the humans don't even like to go there. We dogs have more sense. Very few of us have to work. I suspect that is the reason dogs are happier than humans....we are smart enough to stay away from work!!! I will be offering more training hints in the future so keep reading my blog. Remember, the humans take a lot of time and patience to train, but a well trained human is a joy to have around the house.

Demon Flash Bandit (Human Trainer)

I'm Not a Grouch, But If I Were, it Would be Justified

The humans have insinuated that I am grouchy today. In fact, they haven't just insinuated it, they have actually come right out and said it to me. I feel that my grouchiness is justified (kind of like the television program, Justified, where the leading character gets to kill someone in every expisode, but the killing is justified so it is okay). Most of my grouchiness is directed at Angel Zoom Smokey, and if you had to live with her, you would be grouchy too. She is always eating my food, taking my toys, sleeping where I want to sleep and breathing my air. I think the humans have spoiled her by letting her think that she is supposed to get food and toys just like me, but I have told her repeatedly that all food and toys in the house are MINE, MINE, MINE!!! You would think that she would understand that I run things around here--not the silly humans. Anyway, they have even referred to me as Oscar like Oscar the Grouch on Sesame Street. I don't think this is a fair reference since Angel Zoom Smokey is the problem. I might add that Oscar is wrong to be grouchy. He gets to live in a garbage can with the garbage. He should be the happiest creature on Earth. Any dog would be proud to hang out in a garbage can! In fact, in one episode of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Frank and Charlie were hanging out in dumpsters because they found so many treasures in them so even some of the humans appreciate garbage.

Demon Flash Bandit (Not a Grouch)