Mushing to Burger King

Many sports the humans engage in do not involve dogs. However, dog sledding is a sport in which the dogs are the "stars". I have never personally pulled a sled, and I don't participate in sledding because it looks like a lot of work! It would be cool if the humans were pulling me and I was laying on the sled, but they let the humans come up with the idea, and they came up with the idea of dogs pulling the humans. I have decided that this is a sport that might actually be fun for a dog-particularly a dog like myself who was bred to pull sleds. The sport just needs some changes made by a dog. Dogs should only pull a sled if it is for short distances, like maybe 100 feet. After that, it is time to get out the car. I did devise a race like Iditarod in which the dogs start next door to Burger King and they mush directly to Burger King. The prize, of course, is some tasty burgers. The first to arrive also gets a vanilla milkshake. I've shared my idea with several dogs and all of them think it is the best dog race they have ever had the pleasure to hear about. I am pleased that, once again, I have come up with a brilliant plan.

Mommy got a catalog from Doctors Foster Smith, and I was pawing through it to see what interesting things they have for the humans to buy for me. As I have mentioned in the past, I do LOVE dingo bones. The catalog has some bones that kind of look like dingo bones, but they are called Toro bones. They have a bacon flavor middle. I have thought bacon was delicious since I was a puppy. Now all I have to do is persuade Mommy to place an order. Orders over $49.00 get free shipping so I think Mommy should order at least $50.00 worth to save money on shipping. I am always watching out for Mommy's financial situation because I am a good dog! I've got to go and cleverly hide that catalog inside a magazine Mommy normally reads so I can make her read an ad for Toro bones. I have to give Ralphie from A Christmas Story credit for coming up with that cleverness. A dog can learn a lot from watching movies.

Demon Flash Bandit (Would Love to Try Toro Bones)

Dogs on Strike!

Since my last post yesterday, I have been a busy dog. What have I been doing, you may ask? I have been making protest signs. I am tired of being left out on trips to the store, theatre, and other fun outings. I decided to start making protest signs so that other dogs and myself can carry them around outside places that don't allow us into their establishments. It is about time us dogs start picketing these places and let our barks and howls be heard. The next step is for us to go on strike. Let's see how the humans like it when we lay around all day and sleep instead of working. The watch dogs aren't going to bark at strangers. The hunting dogs are going to refuse to hunt. Personally, I will not be doing any mushing. I'm not sure how well this is going to work since, as in my case, I never mush anywhere anyway, but if the humans need me to take them anywhere, they are out of luck and they will have to live with that knowledge. I will continue to eat Burger King because I have no problems with Mr. King Burger who runs the place. You know he has to like dogs or he would not make such delicious burgers for us. The milkshakes there are quite tasty too.

We dogs are tired of having the silly humans tell us what to do. Let's hold a treat up above their heads and tell them to sit or beg. See how they like having to entertain us dogs for their treats. We will then tell the other dogs around us what smart humans they are for doing tricks like that. Yes, this dog is annoyed, and I am not going to sit back and take it anymore. If the humans want to avoid these problems, I suggest they start letting us dogs go with them everywhere they go. Believe me, a lot of us dogs are better behaved and easier to deal with than a lot of humans.

Demon Flash Bandit (Protesting Dog Treatment)