Zombie Wedding

I am always watching out for my readers, and today is no exception. I am going to start this blog by sharing a video from youtube. Here is the address:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EyNPdso6Kd8&feature=related


This video features a zombie wedding. Of course, this is a real concern for all us non-zombies in the world. It is bad enough that zombies run loose, but when they get married and start reproducing like the non-zombies, you know there is going to be trouble eventually. When the little zombies start reaching school age, are the schools going to have to put brains on the menu? Will the little zombies bully the non-zombie children on the playground. These are the kind of questions that have baffled non-zombie philosophers for years. There are no zombie philosophers to worry about it because zombies don't do a lot of thinking. They just mostly walk around looking and sounding stupid. Maybe that is not the politically correct thing to say, but it is the truth. Watch any zombie movie and you'll see what I'm talking about. No one has ever watched a zombie movie and said, "wow, those zombies were geniuses!".

As usual, I have some plans to stop the zombies before they destroy society as we know it. First, they need to provide notarized birth certificates to prove that they aren't illegal aliens. They certainly don't act like regular humans so it is important to check their citizenship status. It can be helpful to have them deported so that they are another government's problem. Additionally, if they are supposed to be dead, which I do believe is their official status, perhaps showing them back to their resting place might help solve the problem. I know I hate it when dead people forget where they are supposed to be. I don't know if you have noticed, but dead people tend to lose all their social skills and get in the way. It is like a shopping trip to Walmart. Okay, I'll admit that the average zombie might be a bit more polite than many of the Walmart shoppers. Sometimes we writers tend to exaggerate in order to get a laugh.

I have some good news for you about the video. I suspect that the wedding is not actually a zombie wedding because I did some extensive research on the video, and the "zombies" are moving much too fast and there are other subtle signs that they are humans acting like zombies. Hopefully, the zombies are not starting to marry or reproduce, but I will be ever vigilent about watching out for any and all new zombie weddings I hear about in the future. Just because this one is fake does not mean that some real ones aren't occurring.

I hope that you don't run into any zombies, but if you do, remember this important fact for survival....they are stupid so act like a zombie yourself and they will leave you alone. Until tomorrow. . . . !

Demon Flash Bandit (Watching For Zombies)

Make the Play Area for Dogs

Normally I am not a big fan of the Emmy awards, but I have to make an exception for one particular actor. Peter Dinklage. Dinklage won the Emmy for outstanding supporting actor for his role in Game of Thrones on HBO. He thanked his dog sitter, Kitty, for watching his dog, Kevin. Of course, I do wonder how Kevin the dog feels about having a dog sitter named Kitty, but I must give Peter Dinklage credit for having his priorities in order. Most humans don't have enough sense to put their dogs first.

According to the news today, a lady has done some research and found that many fast food play areas for children aren't clean enough. I have a simple solution for this problem. Ban the human puppies from the play areas and let us dogs take over. We dogs love things that the humans think are disgusting so we would have a great time playing there. In addition, we would then be allowed in the restaurants which, as of this time, we aren't--except for service dogs. A dog play area and tasty food all in one building. The dogs who enjoy it would think they had died and gone to heaven!!! Once again, Demon Flash Bandit has solved another human problem. What would the humans do without us dogs to lead the way?

Demon Flash Bandit (Ready to Play)

No Tax on "Moon Based" Businesses

Dominos Pizza has plans to open the first restaurant on the moon. Personally, I don't think this is a wise business move since no one lives on the moon so who is going to patronize the restaurant? However, it would make perfect sense if there were aliens or indigenous moon people living there. They could inhabit the side of the moon that you can't see from Earth, and no one would know except maybe the astronauts which might explain why they quit going to the moon. Maybe they met a bunch of annoying aliens who didn't act friendly? Of course, I will assume that they quit going because it cost a lot of money, and there really isn't much going on there. I know the humans don't have a dog's brain power, but I don't think the humans running Dominos would be dumb enough to build a restaurant which would cost a lot of money yet get no business so it does make a dog wonder if there are things going on with the moon that are being kept secret. Perhaps there are aliens on the moon, and they are getting tired of having to come all the way to Earth to pick up their dinner. Perhaps Dominos has done marketing research showing that they are open to having a pizza place open on the moon. If so, then maybe the aliens love pizza as much as most of the humans. If this is true, then I hope the aliens know what they are getting into. First Dominos, then McDonalds, and then before you know it, the moon will have so many businesses on it that it will no longer need the light from the sun to light it up at night--Earth will be able to see all the lights from all the businesses. I suppose there is one advantage to having a business on the moon--since no country seems to have legal control, I have to assume that the "moon" businesses don't have to pay taxes on the profit. I bet that is the real reason Dominos is heading for the moon--it is the newest way for a company to avoid paying tax.

Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing Moon Businesses)