Imagine my happiness at getting another letter from Queen Elizabeth II, who I refer to as the Queen Lady. As usual, I will share the letter with my readers.
Dear Demon Flash Bandit,
I am looking forward to seeing you at my grandson's wedding. I was so glad to get the RSVP telling us that you would attend. I can't tell you how pleased the entire family was to know that you will be attending. As you already know, your attendance at any event makes it a newsworthy occasion, and we were hoping to get some news coverage so now that is guaranteed thanks to your kind acceptance of our invitation. I am writing this letter to let you know that after the wedding reception, there will be a private dinner dance for close family and friends which will be hosted by the Prince of Wales. We are most anxious for you to attend the dinner dance. Without you there, it would just be more food to eat. You make the events memorable. I have made sure that the event will be catered by Burger King so that you will enjoy it. You are so right when you write about Burger King being the best food you can eat. Would you believe that the caterers wanted to overcharge for some stupid food that wouldn't taste nearly as good as Burger King? You have to watch it when you are in the royal family---people are always trying to take advantage of you by serving inferior food (like caviar) at ridiculous prices rather than delicious tasty food like Burger King. Several members of Parliament want to know if you can spare some time before you return to the United States because they need some advice on matters of grave importance, and everyone here respects your opinion.
I did follow your suggestion and I told Rowan Williams, the Archbishop of Canterbury, to make sure the wedding is done in English. I have also read Canterbury Tales, and I have often wondered what language in which it is written--certainly not English as I learned it. I do agree that Robin Williams would have been a good person to officiate the wedding, but he was too busy. I did ask Rowan Atkinson if he was available. Sadly, he is also busy so we are going to use Rowan Williams. I just hope he will do as good a job as Williams or Atkinson. Please keep your paws crossed that all goes well.
Love, Queen Lady, Elizabeth II
As you can see, I do get lots of letters from celebrities. Despite this fact, I have managed to stay the same sweet, down to Earth dog that writes this daily blog. I've got to go now. I want the humans to carry me to the bed for my nap. You don't expect a dog of my stature to get my paws dirty, do you?
Demon Flash Bandit (Royal Invitation to the Private Dinner Dance)