Since the recession has affected many of the humans, and even the Queen Lady has had to cut back on household expenses, I thought I would do a public service by sharing some money saving tips. These tips aren't used in this household, but my humans do know someone who does use them.
1. First and foremost, when buying food, never buy the name brands. If you can find the food in the dumpster outside the store, that food is free. This saves a lot of money that you can use for more important things.
2. Never buy aluminum foil, wet wipes, paper towels, napkins, or toilet paper. These are all luxury items that should never be purchased. However, they can be salvaged from things that other people, who are wasteful, throw away since most humans don't bother to reuse these items. A little dirt never killed anyone.
3. When gift giving occasions occur, always save the gift wrap from the gifts that you receive. Gift wrap can be reused hundreds of times. Also, name tags are unnecessary. You can write the information directly on the paper. It won't fall off, and it makes the package delightfully different from the rest. I'm amazed Martha Stewart hasn't thought of it.
4. Wonderful gifts can be purchased at the nice stores that charge no more than one dollar for anything in the store. Who wouldn't be delighted to receive a couple of peanut butter crackers as a gift?
5. Try to make sure one member of the family works for some kind of fast food franchise so that they can grab the delicious food that is thrown away. It saves hundreds on the grocery bill.
6. Water costs money so if you need to wash your hands or brush your teeth, use the toilet water that is available to save money over having to turn on the faucet. This could save you as much as $10.00 in a lifetime.
7. If you should need a band-aid, don't fall for those ones at the store that cost money. Find some old rag and wrap it around the cut. You don't need tape either--tie a couple of strips of old rag around it to keep in place. It is nice if the rag is clean, but this is not a perfect world. Use what you have.
Now I bet the next thing you are thinking is, what do you do with all the extra money you have saved? Invest it? No, of course not. You buy a new car so you can look rich. Then you spend the rest on a trip to the nearest casino where you put it into slot machines and hope to become rich.
How did humans get put in charge over dogs? I mean the money saving tips are okay with me, but I'd spend my money on Burger King and dingo bones, as would any other dog!
Demon Flash Bandit (Doing a Public Service Blog)