As my readers are probably already aware, if a dog goes to a store to buy dingo bones or stops at the local Burger King, they want to be paid money in exchange for their delicious treats. Sure, we dogs know how silly that is since money is paper, and I would much rather have a tasty dingo bone than a pile of paper, but that is how the humans think. This has made me spend a couple of hours thinking about how this dog could make some extra money for those items. I considered getting a job, but work sounds dull and boring, and I think the humans are crazy for spending so much of their time at jobs. Besides, if I have to show up at work, that would cut into my nap time. I could inherit money if my humans die, but that is a laugh. I once asked Mommy to take a couple million out of her bank account to buy me a few things and she said she didn't have a couple million in her bank account. I think that means that I didn't hit the jackpot financially when I got my humans, but I love them anyway.
Finally, I came upon the best idea yet. I will do what the government does. I will charge a Demon Flash Bandit tax. Tax is great because a dog can just sit back and do nothing and collect money. I'm surprised more of the humans haven't thought about charging taxes. In fact, I think many humans would think that I spend the money more wisely on dingo bones and Burger King than the government does with the taxes it receives. I might add that I think the humans would not resent paying taxes to a handsome dog rather than to an old guy in the capital. I also plan to put a toll booth at the street in front of my house. It seems to work great for so many of the cheap states who charge people to drive on their roads. I might even add a traffic light so I can bring in additional money in tickets for those who run the light. I plan to hire a couple of cats for that job. I don't think the average dog wants to be bothered with sitting there monitoring traffic. Yes, if you want to make money without having to do anything, always look to the government--all of them seem to be very good at getting money from their citizens.
Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing Demon Flash Bandit Tax)