Recently China had some UFO activity which I wrote about under the title, Interplanetary Outsourcing. Now there has been a UFO spotted over Manhatten in New York City. Of course it is quite possible that the aliens just stopped by NYC to get some carry out food. However, this dog is not going to just make assumptions without any proof so I am going to do some serious scientific research and I need to get in touch with the aliens using my special invention, the Demon Flash Bandit Interplanetary Radio. Sure, I know I named it after myself, but if you don't like it, invent your own interplanetary radio. If this dog invents a product, I get to name it. Anyway, I am going to get in touch with the UFO to see why they are hovering over Manhatten. The following will be a dialog between the aliens and myself.
DFB: Hello. Could you explain why you are here.
UFO: Hi Demon. We have heard of you throughout the universe. You are considered to be the most intelligent animal on planet Earth. To what do we owe the pleasure of chatting with you?
DFB: The humans would like to know why you are hovering over Manhatten, and it is best to tell them before they call in the military and try to zap you out of the sky.
UFO: As usual, Mr. Demon Flash Bandit, I don't know what Earth would do without you. We are not here to do any harm. We came for some cheesecake and then heard something about Bill O'Reilly being on a show here.
DFB: Yes he did put in an appearance on The View.
UFO: Can we beam him up for scientific experiments? No one on our planet believes anyone like him exists.
DFB: I'm not going to stop you, but could you do me a personal favor and not bring him back---I'm not a fan of his.
UFO: Sure, Demon Flash Bandit. We will hook him up to a virtual world about 200 years in the past. He should be happy there.
UFO: You are most welcome!
Another problem solved by Demon Flash Bandit. Hold the applause--wait a minute--go ahead....I love applause! By the way, on a personal note. a welcome goes out to a new baby in my extended family who was born in NYC this morning. It is always nice to welcome a new human puppy into the family.
Demon Flash Bandit (Problem Solver)