Sunday, October 3, 2010

Blood Just Wants to Have Fun

First, I would like to thank my guest blogger, and adopted sister, Angel Zoom Smokey, for writing a guest blog for me in my absence. Angel Zoom Smokey has started her own blog which, for those who might be interested, can be found at Angel, like myself also writes the occasional blog for a new site that is owned by one of our husky pals, Cairo, My human secretary, Mommy, who is the one who types what I dictate was in the hospital. By the way, doesn't Demon Flash Bandit, dictator have a nice ring to it? At least I think it does. Anyway, Mommy had a blood clot and from what I understand, that means that all the blood got together to throw a party. Since the medical community's main purpose in life is to keep the humans from having a good time, they couldn't stand to see the blood having fun so they had to put a stop to it. Mommy said she spent 4 days being a human pin cushion. I'm not sure what a pin cushion is, but it does not sound good to me. Anyway, Mommy is back and the world will continue to be able to read my words of husky wisdom everyday again now. If Mommy didn't work free, I might have to replace her, but you know how it is when you hire relatives---you can't really fire them or they will get their feelings hurt, and you look like a jerk.

For the most part, dogs are not allowed in hospitals (with some exceptions), but I cleverly disguised myself as a human. It isn't that hard to do. I put on some clothes, and I put on a wig and a mustache. My blue eyes are an advantage in fooling the humans. If they even thought I might be a dog, one look at my eyes makes them think they were stupid to think I might be a dog. It also pays to act a bit stupider than usual since humans aren't as intelligent as the average dog. Normally, I do not like to wear clothing. In fact, I am against it, but I wanted to visit Mommy and observe the hospital procedures to make sure they were up to my canine standards.

My first observation is that the free chicken is nice, but there is no Burger King burgers on the menu or even served in the hospital. How do they expect the patients to get well if they can't eat Burger King? I know I would not want to be in a hospital that did not serve me Burger King.

I do have some concerns that Mommy even shared with me. With all the pollution on the planet, sticking the humans with needles so many times seems to be just adding more bio-hazard waste to the environment. Mommy was willing to do her part to avoid this unnecessary problem, but the drs. kept ordering it to be done. Someone needs to explain to them that they are polluting the environment with all the needles, and if the patients tell them their blood if fine, taking their word for it would create less trash to throw out into the environment.

Some of you might be surprised to learn that I, Demon Flash Bandit, happen to be a doctor myself. The only difference is that my MD degree (Medical Dog degree), is far more prestigious than the human MD degree. The human MD degree, if from a prestigious university stands for Mister Doctor degree. If the medical degree is from a community college, it means that the degree stands for Mediocre Doctor degree. As I understand it, most human doctors are required to attend 4 years of college before they can hang out their shingle to practice medicine. However, you should always check that sheepskin sometimes the ones who got their MDs after 2 years of community college can be good at sounding like they have a full 4 year degree. In fact, if the dr. comes from a family that raises sheep, he might get a sheepskin with only high school. It is wise to make sure you pick a good doctor.

I am glad to be back to the blogging community, and I hope Mommy doesn't cause me to miss blogging again. The whole problem would be solved if the humans would just stay well.

Demon Flash Bandit (Doctor Demon Flash Bandit)

1 comment:

  1. So, what other talents do woo possess?

    PeeEssWoo: So, did she miss woo?