Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Captain Demon Flash Bandit's Log-9/14/11

Captain Demon Flash Bandit's Log, Sept. 14, 2011

I was chosen once again by Star Fleet to be a log pick (diary pick) today. I suspect this is because of my vast experience flying around space taking care of the bad aliens. Just the other day, I found a planet full of fleas and I got out the Raid torpedo and killed them dead. I prefer killing them dead because killing them alive would mean that they are still around to pester a dog. I'm not the one that came up with the idea of killing them dead, but that was thanks to the ad agency that did the commercials for Raid. Yeah, I thought it was kind of redundant too, but who am I to complain about a company who gets rid of bugs? I'm just glad I got to those fleas before they reached the dog star. The dogs there do not like fleas anymore than us dogs on Earth like them.

We have a new science officer on board the ship. At least I think the new dog is the science officer because he is a lab. Yeah, I bet you didn't see that one coming. In fact, we even have a ship bouncer. He is the one who goes around telling the barking dogs that if they don't quit barking, he will pull the ship over and we will sit and wait until they quiet down. The chihuahuas hate him because they love to bark, but he likes quiet. A cat slipped on board and we put the cat in the brig. I personally don't mind cats, but some of the dogs hate them. He will be given his freedom when we get back to Earth.

That is it for today. This is Captain Demon Flash Bandit...soon to be Admiral Demon Flash Bandit signing off before going where no dog has gone before!!!

Demon Flash Bandit (Starship Captain)

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