Thursday, September 15, 2011

Dinner With the Royals,and Kate Wearing a Napkin Hat

Last week I was invited to have dinner with the royal family in Great Britain, and I know that my readers will want to know how it really is to have dinner with the royal family so I am using this blog to share the experience with all of you. I hope this will make all of you feel like you are vicariously enjoying a royal dinner. To make it easier to read, I will put it in script form.


Queen Lady: I do hope the food is up to everyone's culinary taste.
Prince Charles: Yes, Mom, the cow heart burgers are extra tasty today.
Queen Lady: That is because I ordered them from extra contented cows.
Prince Charles: Bravo, Mom....once again.... a culinary masterpiece. I do hope we have fruitcake for dessert.
Queen Lady: Why of course, we are having fruit cake for dessert. This is a royal meal, is it not?
Queen Lady: Kate, must you always experiment with dinner as a hat. You know that the ketchup you tried last week didn't work out, and when you tried to use the tablecloth, you knocked everything off the table. I told you that your next fashion item will be to make a dress out of that burlap bag I told the servants to leave in your room. We just bought stock in a burlap company, and we need to sell a lot of burlap.
Kate: Can't I ever have any fun? Can I at least try the plate as a hat?
Prince Charles: I love your hat choices, and I know you like to try new things, but you really should sit back and eat your cow burger like the rest of us.
Queen Lady: Demon Flash Bandit, what do you think of the napkin as a hat?
Demon Flash Bandit: I think she should use the cow burger as a hat then at least I wouldn't have to eat mine. Of course, I'm not going to eat it anyway.
Queen Lady: Did we serve something stupid again Demon Flash Bandit?
Demon Flash Bandit: Yes, you did. Don't you know how to order good food?
Queen Lady: What is good food?

That was my dinner with the royal family. Yes, truly a riveting occasion. There was actually a person in the corner of the room putting rivets in something. After reading this, I'm sure that most of you will realize that eating dinner with the royal family is not a fun event. I think their menu would be improved if they served dog food.

Demon Flash Bandit (Covering the Royal Dinner)

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