I'm writing this because I saw an item in the news from Washington DC (it happened in a Federal Building) about a lady who was injured due to an exploding toilet. I'm sure most of you, when you see that sentence will think, "was there a terrorist attack at one of the government buildings?" The answer is, no there was not. It turns out that it was just one disgruntled toilet that caused the problem. This is why dogs do not use toilets. Sure, you can get a cat to use one, but we dogs have more sense. There is no way that we are going to be shot across the room by an unhappy toilet. There was an excuse about water pressure, and the people in the building have been warned not to use the facilities until they are checked out. I suppose that means that either the humans are using hydrants like us dogs or they are lining up at a nearby gas station. I hope they are using the nearby gas stations because those hydrants are for dogs. We mark them as our territory and we expect them to stay our territory. The humans probably wouldn't even bother to sniff the hydrant first to see if it has been marked or not. Humans are terribly impolite about such things. Anyway, I hope that there are no more toilet problems in Washington DC. Judging from the amount of excrement coming from the politicians, I'm surprised the toilets haven't fought back sooner.
Demon Flash Bandit (Staying Away From Toilets)