From what this dog has observed of human behavior, they tend to watch a lot of television. This is okay with me because I can always nap while they watch, and often I sit next to Mommy and get tummy rubs or have her pet my butt while she watches. This is why I think television was a wonderful invention. It gives the humans more time to spend with their dogs. However, occasionally, this dog finds some programs offensive and last night was one of those times. Mommy was watching an episode of Family Guy, which is a reality show in which the dog is the only one on there with any intelligence. That is what puts it in the reality show genre--all us dogs know that we have the brains and the humans don't. As I said, normally, this is a show I approve of wholeheartedly, but that was before the episode came on when Peter Griffin got the record of his favorite song, Surfin' Bird by The Trashmen. The song keeps repeating, The bird is the word. If I want a sentence with a bird in it, that sentence will say, "Thankfully, the bird is dead". Very much like that dead turkey I ate a couple of days ago, I have no problems with dead birds, but the song is about live birds. I don't know why The Trashmen bothered to record that song. They work with garbage and could have written far more interesting songs with that kind of inspiration. Just off the top of my head, several song titles come to mind. Imagine if they had written, "Rotting banana peels smell like my heart which is rotting since you turned me down". Perhaps a happier song like, I Found This Ring in the Garbage for You". Even a mediocre song titled, "I Am Searching Through the Garbage for You". The Trashmen didn't record too many songs because they went on to star in a movie, Men at Work, which was made in 1990. They played the parts of garbage men very convincingly. Critics have referred to them as the Trashy versions of Capt. Jack Sparrow. At the annual Trashmen Awards, they always win the coveted Glade Award which they use to make their garbage truck smell better all year. Anyway, the "bird" song is very annoying and Family Guy's episode kept playing it over and over. If they had the good sense to record, "The Bird is Dead.....om pah the bird is dead. Everyone knows the bird is dead", it would have been a big hit instead of an annoying song played on Family Guy. Remember, when it comes to birds, the only good bird is a dead bird.
Demon Flash Bandit (Dead Bird is the Word)