Saturday, September 18, 2010

Bark Like a Pirate?

Ahoy. I have told Angel Zoom Smokey to put on her Halloween Pirate costume in honor of Talk Like a Pirate Day. So far, she has threatened to issue some puppy slaps of justice for the suggestion, and she told me to wear it myself. Since I do not want to wear it, I suppose there is going to be a limited amount of Pirate Partying around here unless Angel drinks too much grog, in which case, I might be able to trick her into wearing it. I am not counting on it since Angel is not an easy dog to fool.

To help my readers enjoy the holiday, there are actually websites that help you talk like a pirate, and everyone knows how serious a topic has to be before there is a website about it. However, I could not find one website with instructions on how dogs can bark like a pirate dog. Also, do dogs dress up in a pirate's hat and are there other things a pirate dog is expected to wear? How does a dog carry a sword around with him. I'm assuming that a dog can be the Captain of a ship if he chooses to do so. In fact, I think I have a great name for a pirate to have: Captain Demon Flash Bandit, pirate. It does have a very piratey sound to it, don't you think? I bet spell check is going to tell me that pirately is not a word. When it does, I will take out my sword and kill spell check and thus, prove I am a worthy pirate. I'm sure pirates in the old days used to keep the computers in line (or on line---they seem like the kind of people who would be on Twitter) on their ships. I'm sharing an old pirate tweet with you from the old days:
Me just commandeered a ship which me thought would bring a vast array of treasure, but alas, the booty from the ship was not what me expected. Me should have known that a ship flying under the "mouse" flag might not have been a good choice, but even a pirate captain has bad days every now and then. How was me supposed to know that Disney had a cruise ship for senior citizens? The complaints alone were enough to make me want to jump into the ocean and join Davy Jones in his locker. Where is the Cracken when you need it? Young people tend to shut up and do what they are told, but me supposes older people will take the risk and tell you off. Perhaps they don't feel they have as much to live for as the younger ones. Ten old ladies hit me over the head with their purses, and if me sees one more photo of the grandchildren, me will scream. The old men can't hear anything you tell them. I've had 24 of them attack me with their canes--and me thought the canes were for dancing. My crew has confiscated the electric scooters and they are driving them around the ship. Me thinks they are about to mutiny because the novelty of the electric scooters is wearing thin. Me thinks me will let the people go back to their ship, and then lock me-self into me quarters until this whole mutiny idea is over. Even Pirate Captains can have some very, very bad days! Next time, me will be more careful about the ships I commandeer. ---Captain Blue Eyed Husky

I do hope those who choose to participate enjoy talk like a pirate day. For those dogs who know how to bark like a pirate, start a website. I know that humans only have websites about things that are very important, but I think dogs would appreciate knowing how to bark like a pirate. The humans would never start a website just to entertain other humans, would they?

I hope everyone has a nice weekend, and if you find any spare pirate treasure in your back yard that you don't want, let me know. A dog can always use treasure...hopefully someone will find some dingo bones. They are so tasty!

Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing Talk Like a Pirate Day)

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