I have always felt that I should live in a castle like his highness, Mr. Burger King. Imagine my excitement when I saw on the Internet news that a man is in the process of building an authentic 13th century castle the same way they built it back then. An archaeologist named Guyot had a dream to build a castle like this. I wonder how he knew that it would be the perfect home for me, Demon Flash Bandit. The castle is being built in France, and it is named Guedelon. I hope the locals plan to learn English or dog because this dog has no plans to learn to speak French. One human language is enough for this dog. I don't need to hear the humans sounding stupid in more than one language. Of course, when I move in, it will have to be modernized a bit. I would add a Burger King. How would I eat without BK? I would also have to make sure it is air conditioned. Sure, I am not worried about heat in the winter because I like cold, but there is no way that this dog is going to put up with heat in the summer.
It is about time the humans built a home worthy of a dog with my many accomplishments. It is quite large so I will even let the humans live inside with me. I will need someone around to wait on me. I don't want to have to get up to get my own food. I will also allow Angel Zoom Smokey to live in the castle with me. She is a good dog most of the time--as long as she listens to my every word and tells me that I am the greatest dog in the world. Of course, she has a habit of not always doing that, but I'm sure she will get better with the chance to live in a castle. When the castle in finished--and they need to use some more modern methods so I don't have to wait another 15 years for it. The novelty of using old building methods has lost its appeal since I can't move in until it is finished. To quote the words of Larry the Cable Guy....."get er done".
Demon Flash Bandit (Kind Dog)