Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Burger King Cannot be Owned by Commoners

This dog is highly upset today over something I read in the news. Burger King might be up for sale. Yes, Burger King, the place that sells this dog's favorite food, might be sold to another company. This upsets me because how can a dog know that the new owners might not mess with the menu and start serving food this dog doesn't like? I happen to be a picky eater. I have refused to eat burgers from McDonalds since I was a puppy. The clown just does not serve a burger high enough in quality to persuade me to eat it. However, I am okay with their bacon and ice cream. Does the King know what is happening in his realm? Has he been taken over by some evil influence like that king in Lord of the Rings? Is he sick? Someone needs to check on the King's health and get him to realize that selling Burger King would be a mistake. If a bunch of commoners buy the franchise, the burgers won't be royal anymore, and what will I serve the Queen of England when she comes to mow my yard? Of course her coming does depend on if that royal pain the the arse, Prince Charles, can ever take care of himself long enough for the Queen Lady to come for a visit. Perhaps she could talk to the King of Burgerland for me. Maybe he will listen to another royal. Meanwhile, Mommy has been watching a marathon session of The Tudors. Henry the VIII was not a good king. He didn't serve hamburgers to his subjects or do anything noteworthy except marry and kill his wives. I think he was the first recorded serial killer in history. It seemed to me that he spent most of his time putting people to death. You would think a couple of his "subjects" would have gotten together and returned the favor, but I suppose they weren't allowed to or it would have ruined the series which would have annoyed the Showtime executives. Perhaps if everyone started eating at Burger King everyday, the King would not even consider selling the franchise. It is a sacrifice that this dog is willing to make.

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Loves Burger King)

1 comment:

  1. Maybe we need to start a fundraising khampaign fur woo!