Kibble Nightmares

For those of you who have watched the television show, Kitchen Nightmares, you will understand how I came upon the concept of Kibble Nightmares.  On Kitchen Nightmares, Gordon Ramsey goes to different restaurants all over the United States that are in danger of closing.  He tries to help them discover their problem(s) so that they can continue to stay open.  It is an interesting show.  I enjoy watching it although many times I do wonder how a bank would loan some of the humans who run these restaurants money since some of them seem to do such a bad job with the money they are loaned.  There are no programs on television like this for dogs so I decided to create my own which I think will be a big hit.  That show is called  Kibble Nightmares.  As a dog who eats human food instead of dog food, it amazes me that so many dogs are given kibble instead of regular food (which, in my opinion is human food).  I visited some of these dogs homes to try their cuisine, and I am going to share some of the "unscripted" moments from the pilot episode:

Demon Flash Bandit is visiting the home of Spot, a terrier from Texas.

Demon Flash Bandit:  Nice to meet you Spot.  Did you know that there is a book called Fun With Dick and Jane in which a dog named Spot is featured? 

Spot:  Yes, Demon, that Spot in the book is my great  (50 more greats) granddaddy. 

Demon Flash Bandit:  How nice for you.  You must be proud!!!  Now onto the cuisine you are served by this family.  What do you normally eat for dinner?

Spot:  I am fed kibble.   I have saved the last bowl for you since I didn't mind not eating it anyway, and I wanted you to see how they actually feed me.  I overheard them talking about feeding you hot dogs instead.  I think they are trying to make themselves look good for the you since you are famous and will be writing a blog entry read by millions about their dog feeding habits.

Demon Flash Bandit: It would not have worked.,  I don't like hot dogs and won't eat them.  Now I will try the food. 

Spot brings the food bowl to Demon. Demon takes a bite.

Demon Flash Bandit:  First of all, I don't care for the presentation.  This bowl is shaped like a fish and was obviously meant for a cat.

Spot:  Yes, that is the cat's bowl.  The humans like to save money by making us share bowls.

Demon Flash Bandit:  That is ridiculous!

Demon takes a bite of the food.
Demon Flash Bandit:  This stuff is awful.  It tastes like dried food that isn't worthy of feeding a bird.  Let me go into your kitchen and inspect it.

They go into the kitchen.

Demon "spots" the problem. 

Demon Flash Bandit:  I am throwing this kibble in the garbage, and I'm getting a steak out of the refrigerator for you.  I think the humans just mistakenly fed you dog food like you are a dog. 

Spot:  Thank you so much Demon.  This steak is delicious!

Once again, another Kibble Nightmare solved by me, Demon Flash Bandit!

Demon Flash Bandit (Chef Demon Flash Bandit)