The latest power ball winner, who bought the ticket in South Carolina has won a whopping $400 million dollars!!! This jackpot was supposed to be won by a dog (a Siberian Husky in Michigan) who had big plans for the money he was going to win. Why didn't he win? Because his stupid humans forgot to buy a ticket for him. In case you are wondering, yes, I am that dog!!! I told my humans to buy a ticket for me, but they "forgot"! In fact, my humans don't buy many lottery tickets largely because they think that the likelihood of winning is such a long shot. I think there is no excuse for them "forgetting". I reminded them several times., I even called them on their cell phones to remind them to get me some tickets. My humans think they are so smart, but I just had to give them my "if you don't buy a ticket, you won't win" lecture. I would have bought the ticket myself but the stores that do not allow a dog to enter are the ones that have the lottery sales. I'm tired of all this discrimination against dogs by the humans. They let humans in all the stores, and dogs have to stay outside. This is not fair, and should not be allowed so I am writing my government representatives to let them know that they need to pass a new law: The Americans Watching out for Dogs Act. I think it is about time this legislation is passed! We dogs have waiting patiently long enough.
Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Had Plans for Winning Monetary Rewards)