Friday, April 8, 2011

I Need Insurance

Last night I was staring at my tail, and I realized that I have a beautiful tail. It is long and furry, and it wags when I want it to. I wondered what would happen if some unfortunate accident caused me to lose my tail. This is why I got up early this morning and placed a call to Lloyd's of London to check into an insurance policy for my tail. While I was on the phone, I decided to insure my klondike bar too. I won't go into what my klondike bar happens to be, but I bet you get the idea. I think I would more upset if I lost it than if I lost my tail. It also makes me laugh every time I hear the commercial, "What would you do for a klondike bar?". I would insure my beautiful blue eyes, but I have never heard of eyes changing color unless it a human who has to use drops for glaucoma. I decided to insure both the tail and the klondike bar for 1 million dollars. Sure, they are worth more, but you do have to pay the premiums, and the premiums go up the higher the insured value. I haven't bothered to get life insurance because I am irreplaceable. Besides, it isn't like I would be around to buy dingo bones with the money anyway. Speaking of dingo bones, Mommy bought Angel Zoom Smokey and myself some small chicken flavored dingo bones, but they aren't as good as the regular larger dingo bones with the meat inside. Those bones are heavenly. I have tried the new stackers burgers from Burger King, and I want to let everyone know that the bacon makes the burgers a lot better. Angel Zoom Smokey and myself both LOVE bacon. I don't think Burger King could make a better burger unless they made a bacon burger with bacon on it. I saw on the news today that 46% of Republicans polled in Mississippi think interracial marriage should be illegal. As a dog who is both black and white, I think these humans are silly. I think some of the dogs with varying colors are some of the prettiest dogs there are. You would think the humans would realize that. I suppose I have the attitude that you should allow other dogs to live their own lives and mind your own business. I have noticed that the humans who are always trying to tell everyone else what to do are usually the ones who have the most self created problems. I can only assume that is because they are too busy trying to live other people's lives instead of living their own. I hope all my readers have a good weekend, and be sure and stop by my human brother's site, He puts a lot of work into the site, and he has had the good taste to give me my own movie review page. Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Needs Insurance)


  1. I wonder how much they would want to insure my fluffy tail?

    PeeEssWoo: Off to chekhk out the human's site!

  2. I'm sure your tail should be insured for at least 1 million dollars. Thanks for checking out my brother's site.