I Need Insurance

Last night I was staring at my tail, and I realized that I have a beautiful tail. It is long and furry, and it wags when I want it to. I wondered what would happen if some unfortunate accident caused me to lose my tail. This is why I got up early this morning and placed a call to Lloyd's of London to check into an insurance policy for my tail. While I was on the phone, I decided to insure my klondike bar too. I won't go into what my klondike bar happens to be, but I bet you get the idea. I think I would more upset if I lost it than if I lost my tail. It also makes me laugh every time I hear the commercial, "What would you do for a klondike bar?". I would insure my beautiful blue eyes, but I have never heard of eyes changing color unless it a human who has to use drops for glaucoma. I decided to insure both the tail and the klondike bar for 1 million dollars. Sure, they are worth more, but you do have to pay the premiums, and the premiums go up the higher the insured value. I haven't bothered to get life insurance because I am irreplaceable. Besides, it isn't like I would be around to buy dingo bones with the money anyway. Speaking of dingo bones, Mommy bought Angel Zoom Smokey and myself some small chicken flavored dingo bones, but they aren't as good as the regular larger dingo bones with the meat inside. Those bones are heavenly. I have tried the new stackers burgers from Burger King, and I want to let everyone know that the bacon makes the burgers a lot better. Angel Zoom Smokey and myself both LOVE bacon. I don't think Burger King could make a better burger unless they made a bacon burger with bacon on it. I saw on the news today that 46% of Republicans polled in Mississippi think interracial marriage should be illegal. As a dog who is both black and white, I think these humans are silly. I think some of the dogs with varying colors are some of the prettiest dogs there are. You would think the humans would realize that. I suppose I have the attitude that you should allow other dogs to live their own lives and mind your own business. I have noticed that the humans who are always trying to tell everyone else what to do are usually the ones who have the most self created problems. I can only assume that is because they are too busy trying to live other people's lives instead of living their own. I hope all my readers have a good weekend, and be sure and stop by my human brother's site, www.silverscreenhub.com He puts a lot of work into the site, and he has had the good taste to give me my own movie review page. Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Needs Insurance)

Rescue Me Should Be About Dog and Cat Rescue

Mommy is watching another season of Rescue Me--I think it is season 5, and this show makes absolutely no sense to me. Why do they call a show "rescue" and have no dogs on it that need homes? Most of us dogs know that there are lots of rescue groups out there, and most of them are rescuing dogs and cats. There has been a dog on the show a couple of times, but that dog should have been in every episode. I think they rescued a cat once, but that was one cat in 5 years. If you ask me, most rescues have a better track record than that-and if they don't, they aren't good rescues, and would not deserve their own television show.

I like Denis Leary, but he is playing the handsome leading man, but as I'm sure that all my readers will agree, he is no Demon Flash Bandit. If you want a face that will make girls swoon, you need an actor like me, Demon Flash Bandit. Sure, humans can have blue eyes, but how many people really notice them like they do when a dog like myself has blue eyes? I can just look at humans, and they notice me because of my eyes. I am also strong, and muscular, and I look good in my fur. I also have adorable black freckles on my nose. Does Denis Leary have adorable black freckles on his nose? I think not!

I know that the show is okay from the human perspective. Humans will never have the high standards that us dogs have. I hope that someday, Denis will realize that he needs fewer humans and more dogs on the show. I'm sure that would improve the show tremendously. Until then, Mommy will continue to watch--it doesn't take much to amuse the humans.

Demon Flash Bandit (My Review of Rescue Me)