Perhaps you, like I, have noticed that the world is full of problems. Those problems are very annoying to those who have to deal with them. I think that it is good to be optimistic., There are humans who, when faced with problems, say encouraging things like, a problem is an opportunity in disguise. While it is true that some people have made a fortune solving problems experienced by the majority of people, I have decided that attitude is very annoying for most people and dogs. Therefore, I have decided that those people need to be lined up and shot. Normally, I do not like guns nor do I think they solve many problems, but shooting those overly optimistic humans whose happy attitudes make us normal dogs want to strangle them is okay. I am looking for a gun that can be operated without a thumb so that a dog can shoot whatever human says anything that stupid. These are the kind of idiot humans who, when a dog at a shelter faces euthanasia because he doesn't have anyone to adopt him say things like, "he is in a better place". Sure, crossing the rainbow bridge does put a dog in a better place, but that does not mean that a young, healthy dog wants to go there immediately because the humans don't have enough sense to know they need a dog! By the way, I don't want to kill the humans...just wound them. It should make them very happy because the wound would constitute a problem which they can solve. They might even come up with a better bandage. What lucky humans-to be able to turn a problem into a solution....what a lucky opportunity!
Demon Flash Bandit (Problems Aren't Lucky)