Saturday, July 16, 2011

Gorilla Glue: Good Job Gorillas!

My human bought some gorilla glue, and this dog was skeptical at first. I didn't think a glue made by gorillas would be a good glue to use. We all know about gorillas. I assumed they would be on the glue assembly line throwing their poop at each other. However, I have to admit that I, the great Demon Flash Bandit, was wrong about this glue. It is actually a very good product, and it holds things together better than other glues on the market. Who would have thought that the less evolved cousin of the humans could make something so good? I was also amazed to see that the stores expect you to pay cash for it which is probably easier than translating the cost into bananas. I've heard that monkeys don't really like bananas, but I don't understand this. Bananas are sweet and tasty, and if you drop the peel and someone falls on it, you have the classic falling on a banana peel joke. Most foods don't ever reach that level of tastiness and fun. This is an important blog for all my fellow dogs because, if you happen to break anything in the house, use gorilla glue to fix it so the humans won't know it was ever broken.

I have to admit that all my knowledge of gorillas is not first hand. I've never met an actual gorilla. We dogs aren't allowed in most zoos, and judging from the animals who would like to eat a dog, it probably is not a bad idea that we aren't allowed. I wouldn't want to go to the zoo to be some lion or bear's dinner! I am wondering how the gorillas got started in business. Did Magilla Gorilla use the vast fortune he made from the cartoons he did in the 1960's to invest in a glue factory? Is he the CEO of gorilla glue. I can understand why he would want that kind of security. In the cartoon, he was for sale at the pet store, and maybe that made him feel insecure since anytime a human bought him, he was always brought back. That has got to hurt a gorillas ego considerably. Anyway, I'm glad that the gorillas are doing so well, and have such a good product. The next time you go to the zoo, be extra nice to the gorillas. You might need a job one day and they might be hiring.

I am surprised that there is no Doggy Glue. I guess us dogs have used our vast intelligence on other projects. I guess you have to let the other animals excel in some fields too. A dog can't hog all the limelight!

Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing Gorilla Glue)

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