Humans Should Learn to Speak Dog

I was looking through some of the computer software that my humans have sitting around here. Imagine my annoyance when I found one that is supposed to teach the humans 51 languages, and dog is not among them. Bird isn't on there either so that explains why the birds can sit and plot against the humans without the humans having any idea what they are planning to do to them. One of my brothers learned ancient Greek and the humans don't even speak it anymore yet the college he attended still offered it. Wouldn't dog be a better language to offer the humans? One of my pals who happens to be a cat isn't too happy with the humans attitude toward teaching language either. He said if the humans took cat, they could understand him when he tells them what his menu choice for the day happens to be. It does sound like knowing what the cat wants for dinner would make life easier for the humans--they wouldn't have to put food in a bowl that the cat isn't going to eat. I suppose the humans don't bother to think about the practicality of what they learn--they like to learn silly things that don't matter to a dog.

How many of you dogs have heard of the story of Beauty and the Beast? I was very disappointed with this story because I thought that "Beauty" would be a dog. It turns out she was human. If you ask my opinion, how can humans be beautiful when they have those little noses that don't even smell very much? I won't even bother to list all the things that are silly looking about the humans. I happen to think the beast was one good looking guy. I bet it was a human who wrote the story. I do think it is a sweet story though--a handsome beast falling for a silly looking human. Actually, we dogs love humans so I guess dogs have a similar story--we could write Beauty and the Human.

I hope everyone had a nice weekend, and I hope the week is starting out good.

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Thinks Dogs are Beautiful)