I am sorry to report that the actor, Fess Parker died. He played the parts of Davy Crockett and Daniel Boone on television many years ago. This dog has a problem with the human, Davy Crockett. I know he didn't mean to annoy this dog, but he wore a "coonskin" cap, and this cap was a big fad for kids in the 1950's. My human Daddy was born in 1950 so he remembered the era fondly and had to have a coonskin cap for himself, which he never wore because he hated wearing hats. Yeah, I know--a dog will never be able to understand the oddities of human behavior so it is best just to realize they are "eccentric" and leave it at that. What the humans choose to buy doesn't really interest this dog unless the stuff they are buying is for me so normally I'm very tolerant about the stupid stuff they buy. However, my humans and myself were visiting Pigeon Forge, Tennessee one year on vacation, and they stopped in at a store entitled Hill-Billy Village. I know with a name like Hill-Billy Village, some of you dogs are probably thinking that it is some kind of high brow human store, but you would be surprised to find that it is not. My humans actually enjoyed shopping there because the store had lots of things that you can't find at other stores. You can imagine my excitement when Daddy came out of the store and told me he bought me something special. I was excited. I wondered--was it some kind of plush bear squeaky toy? Perhaps some of that tasty taffy that Mommy had gotten at Dolly Parton's store? Was it a diary written by a mountain dog that I can use in my diaries on Dogster or for my blog? If it had been any of those things or even a stick I would have been a happy dog, but it wasn't anything remotely good. It was a dog sized "coonskin" cap that just fit my head. I hate hats in the first place, but now I am supposed to be happy that the humans bought me a fur hat with some kind of weird tail hanging on it. I was highly upset when I saw it! All the cool things Daddy could have bought me and he chose that. I know you are supposed to appreciate the thought behind a gift, but all I can say is that he should have thought of something else. This is one of the reasons for my recent blog about how we should be allowed to shop with the humans. Humans waste money on stupid stuff like coonskin caps for their dogs. Anyway, humans who are reading this, if you happen to visit HillBilly Village, your dog does not want a hat. If he is anything like me, he would prefer you go to the Burger King drivethru and get him some burgers.
This dog may be going our on a limb with this statement, but I think that Davy Crockett didn't die at the Alamo. I think he was shot by a hunter who thought he was a raccoon. Just how intelligent is it for the humans to wear an animal's fur when there are humans who are out to get that animal? If people were hunting bears, I would not wear a bear costume. If I lived in Alaska, I would wear a costume because I wouldn't want one of those hunters shooting at me from a helicopter because they think I'm a wolf. It is a shame the humans don't have as much common sense in their little brains as us dogs have in our front paw--or back paw. All our paws are quite smart. The Smokies are a cool place to visit, but don't buy your dog a hat unless you have a dog who likes that sort of thing.
Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who HATES Hats)
You are a very wise sage! Fortunately, my Human has not attempted to put a hat on me. She has, however, put a shirt on me.
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