As some of my loyal readers already know, I think dogs should be allowed to drive cars. I've watched the humans drive, and from my observations, I think many of us dogs would be better drivers. I am not advocating allowing cats to drive, but dogs are much better drivers than cats. I have even been accused of being a bit paranoid about the humans refusing to allow dogs to drive. I kept wondering, why would a dog not be allowed to drive? This morning, I realized why the humans don't think we are capable of driving. For those of you of the furry persuasion, you might have noticed that many of the humans have special greetings for the other drivers they meet. I have to admit that I can't hold up my middle claw like the humans can with their fingers, so I have to assume that the humans think that not being able to give the traditional greeting to other drivers should keep us off the road. Since I am a problem solving dog who invents things, it didn't take me long to solve this "problem". I invented a glove that you can put on your paw that has the appropriate greeting. All a dog has to do is lift the "paw" and the greeting is given. I have to add that personally, I'm not so sure that the greeting is really a good idea, but since so many of the humans are so fond of it, I can't argue as to its effectiveness.
As I'm sure many dogs have also observed, the humans like to drive cars that make them feel important. I never really understood their instinct to drive a certain car until I saw the Weinermobile! What dog wouldn't be proud to drive a car that looks like a hot dog? I even did some research and discovered that one Weinermobile has vanity plates and one of them is OUR DOG. If that is not the perfect license plate for a dog's car, I don't know what is. I can just imagine how cute I would look driving around in the "hot dog" car. I happen to be a very hot dog, so what could be more appropriate for me to drive? If I did drive around, my favorite drive would be to Burger King, and I am already a favorite of the employees there. Having me drive through drive thru in a Wienermobile would have to be the highlight of their day. In fact, I think it is time for me to go and take a nap and dream about the fun I will have driving the Weinermobile. Oscar Mayer, are you listening to a dog? I would make a great driver for your wonderful car.
Demon Flash Bandit (Not Just a Car, a Wienermobile)