Balls are very fun toys to play with so when I heard there was a baseball game coming on television, I got excited. I knew it would be something I would enjoy watching. The local major league team here is the Detroit Tigers. You can imagine my surprise when I didn't see any big cats on the field playing. I wondered why there were no cats playing and then I realized that they disguise themselves as humans in order to play a human game. This made me start doing some research on the other teams, and the result was shocking. As my loyal readers are already aware, I think birds are low life scum, and yet 3 baseball teams are made up of birds: The Baltimore Orioles, The St. Louis Cardinals, and the Toronto Blue Jays. Florida is allowing marlins to play--and I thought they needed water. Chicago has Cubs playing--you would think that they would at least use adult bears--not baby bears. Arizona has snakes playing--the Diamondbacks. San Francisco has Giants yet they seem to have the same size field as everyone else. Pittsburgh has Pirates so I was expecting to see Capt. Jack Sparrow on the field, but he must be busy doing other Pirate type things. Kansas City has royalty playing for them. Los Angeles has outdone themselves by signing Angels up on their team. I have decided that it is silly for them to dress up as humans and they should play as what they really are. It would make the game more interesting for the viewers too. Imagine--the Detroit Tigers playing the St. Louis Cardinals. Those big cats would not only win the game, but I'm sure they would enjoy killing and snacking on some of the cardinals. Cats do love to eat birds. If you don't already know this, I suggest watching the documentary with Tweety Bird and Sylvester the Cat Sylvester is always trying to turn Tweety into the snack of the day. The Pittsburgh Pirates could play the Florida Marlins since Pirates are used to dealing with fish. It would be great if the Chicago Cubs could find a team of bees to play. Bears do love to eat honey. I do think that my idea could create a whole new interest in baseball. I know I would enjoy watching those line ups. I do want to end this with a question: are the Toledo Mudhens supposed to be scary?
Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing Baseball)