Today my topic is about one of the greatest inventions ever invented by the humans. That invention is the tablecloth. Sure, it is an invention whose genius is often overlooked by humans, but dogs think it is the most intelligent invention ever created. When the humans put food on the table for dinner (or any other meal for that matter), the dog is standing aside hoping to get his or her share of the human food. Sure, a dog my size can easily put my paws on the table, and reach the food, but then the humans tend to get mad at the dog. You would think the dog was stealing food from the table the way they carry on about it. However, when a table has a tablecloth under the food, the dog simply puts the cloth in his or her mouth, and pulls. Instant food for the dog, and he didn't put his paws on the table or reach for food or anything--the food chose to come to the dog. The dog gets some delightful human food, and the dog cannot be held accountable. You may hear the human saying "bad tablecloth, bad tablecloth", but it is not a dog's fault that there is a bad tablecloth in the house. As I said, the tablecloth is the best human invention ever--just ask any dog. Just make sure you don't invite a magician over for dinner. Those jerks can pull the tablecloth from the table and leave the food on the table. I bet no dogs ever invite them for dinner.
Demon Flash Bandit (Giving the Humans Credit for Their Brilliant Invention)