Movie Review: Total Recall

The movie studio executives were sitting around brainstorming one day (if you can call anything the humans do "brainstorming"). They couldn't come up with a new idea for a movie so one of them said, "let's remake Total Recall". Of course, this sent a sigh of collective relief up from all the executives because what does the world need more than a remake of an Arnold Schartzendog movie? Okay, maybe I spelled it wrong, but I'm a dog and I don't want to look it up, and his name is not easy to spell. They sat around trying to decide who would play Arney's part, and they decided on Colin Farrell (not to be confused with Will Farrell who plays mostly in comedies although it might have been interesting to see what he would have done with the role). They made this decision because any movie in which Colin Farrell stars has such a good box office record. Okay, I just made that up, but it sounds better than the reason they had for choosing him which is probably something stupid.

Farrell plays Doug Quaid/Hauser, who is a factory worker who makes Star Wars stormtroopers at work. You can say they aren't Stormtroopers, but they look like them, and they are even the same colors. They could have at least made them blue or orange or something, but they were white. He was very bored with his life on the assembly line in the factory, and he kept having bad dreams that would wake him at night. He finally decided to go to Total Recall to have a virtual life created for himself so that he would have some cool memories instead of the monotonous memories of a factory worker. He chose secret agent, and he was already one...or he might have been. You don't really know if it was all fake or it if was really happening. I do know one thing. The movie was okay. I went in expecting it to be bad, but I have a duty to watch these movies so I can report back to my blog readers. It turned out to be an okay movie. I give it 3 paws up which is about a 6 out of 10 on the human movie scale. Sure, there are better movies, but this one is not a bad way to spend a couple of hours.

Demon Flash Bandit (Movie Reviewer)