I was thinking about how nice it would be if there were no birds in existence....you know, something dogs like to contemplate from time to time. Then I remembered that I had heard the Bible story of Noah. God told Noah there would be a big flood and he should built a big boat (an ark), and get 2 of each animal and put them in the ark along with his family. I'm sure God told him to leave the birds out of the ark, but Noah was an old man who probably suffered from a hearing loss and didn't hear that part. To correct this, I have decided to build a time machine so that I can go back and make sure that birds do not get on the ark. If they are all killed in the flood, then there will be no birds today to cause problems and plot their domination of Earth. I even have a theory that they caused the flood with all their pee. Sure, the humans thought it was rain, but it was really bird pee. The Bible even says that there was no rain up until the flood--when the birds all decided to pee at the same time. You know that is what happened. Birds are usually behind most of the bad events in the world. Once I go back in time, I can take care of birds and then I will have time to deal with other issues....like fleas. Fleas are very high on the list of things dogs hate. Don't worry, I'll be back before I get wet. I really don't care much for being wet! It is too much like a bath!
Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Building Time Machine)