Poppin Fresh'--My Pal

This dog enjoys a good dessert so I invited my pal, Poppin' Fresh, the Pillsbury Doughboy for a visit. I knew he could bake some tasty items for a dog to enjoy. We were sitting around having some cookies, and talking. He was relating his life experiences to me because he wants me to write his biography. I can't understand why his biography isn't already on the book shelves since he is such an iconic character. He told me about his early life when he was just a little cookie, and how he grew up to become the dough boy. He once met the Gingerbread Man, but he said the Gingerbread Man wasn't particularly nice. I will take his word for that. It does seem like a cookie that runs away from the human that made him can't be very nice. Since he eventually got eaten by a fox, I suppose he would have been happier if he hadn't run from the little old lady. He has met the Muffin Man, but they tend to have different schedules so they have never spent much time together.

Poppin' Fresh never expected to become such a star, but the nice folks at Pillsbury were so impressed with him that he has been their spokesdough for years now. He has quite the fan base, and even has a store selling collectibles. With all his accomplishments, he says he is still just plain dough. I am so pleased that he would ask me, his pal, to write his biography. After a couple of hours, we watched a bit of television--he loves the Food Channel. The best thing about writing his biography is that I will get to spend a lot of time with him, and he has promised to bake me some special dog biscuits the next time he drops by--Burger King flavor. I am so excited! Then this finger came out of nowhere and poked him in the tummy. Why is that finger always following him around? I'll have to wait until his next visit to ask him about that.

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who is Pals With Celebrity Doughboy, Poppin' Fresh)

Marmaduke

Mommy went to see the movie, Marmaduke yesterday, and she said it was an excellent movie. The acting by the cast of dogs was truly amazing. She thinks it should get the Oscar for Best Picture, but you know that won't happen because the humans would never give the Oscar to a movie about dogs. I have to wait to see the movie when it comes out on dvd because normal, non-service dogs aren't allowed in theatres. I told Mommy I could pose as a service dog, but she said no one would believe a service dog is pulling a human into the theatre. Then she laughed. I didn't see anything particularly funny about it, but I think most humans have an odd sense of humor.

Sometimes I see things in the news that a dog just has to blog about, and yesterday was no exception. I wasn't able to write yesterday because Blogspot would not let me sign in. I wondered if it was part of a vast conspiracy on Blogspot to keep a dog from posting his thoughts to share with the world, but that is a different subject, so I'll save it for another time. Today I want to concentrate on the subject that needs input from a dog--school lunches! Food is always a subject near and dear to a dog so you can understand how this is a top priority subject for me. Most school lunches are not cooked at school anymore, and some of the adult humans are upset that there are things like chicken nuggets on the menu. They think it should be healthier food. I did my research for this blog by asking my family about school lunches when they were children. Mommy said when was young, the school cafeteria actually cooked the food. The food back then was more nutritious, and she said when you passed by the cafeteria when she was young, the smell could drive you to lose lunch that you haven't eaten yet. Her mother would have welcomed chicken nuggets because she used to volunteer at the school a lot and her observation was that most of the lunches ended up in the garbage. What are they doing to do to make them healthier, serve the children tofu and bean sprouts? I don't think I'm wrong in stating that if a dog won't eat the lunch, chances are you won't get a child to eat it either. We dogs think humans worry about things too much. Very few dogs worry about how much nutrition we are getting from our food. If it tastes good, we eat it. This leads me to wonder, why do the humans get so obsessed with these subjects. I think it is because some of the humans have a hard time admitting that there are things beyond their control. Illness and accidents are beyond their control so there has to be a reason for them--either it was what they ate or they weren't careful enough. This makes the healthy ones feel better because nothing can happen to them--they ate a healthy meal. Sure, try to eat healthy, but I think the humans would be happier if they quit worrying about everything so much. Maybe a bit of thanks for having enough food might be in order. There are children in the world who don't get enough to eat. By the way, Angel Zoom Smokey says if the kids don't want the chicken nuggets, send them to her--she loves chicken.

Demon Flash Bandit (Marmaduke--It is Worth the Wait)

Police Dogs--To Serve and Protect

As you already know, there are many dogs that have exciting careers in law enforcement. Some of them work for the police department, and some have private security gigs where they guard individual property. I have noticed that police dogs never carry guns. If you ask this dog, that is scary--trust the silly humans with a gun, but don't let the dog have one. The discrimination against dogs never ends, does it? However, I'm not here to make a political statement about police dogs not being allowed to carry guns. I am writing this to thank those wonderful brave dogs who have made it a career to go out and get the bad guys so that the rest of us dogs can happily take a nap or eat a pig's ear. Thanks for your efforts. I always rest easier knowing a dog is on the job.

Demon Flash Bandit (Thanking Police Dogs for Their Service)

I Do Not Wear a Tin Can

I know many of my fans have asked me why I turned down the role of Iron Dog, but did you see that outfit? I had to refuse the role because this dog does not dress in a tin can. They managed to find a human who was willing to play the part, and it has become a successful franchise for him, but I stand by my original decision. I will never wear a tin can just to play a role in a movie.

I have a serious problem to report in this blog. Mommy often brings Angel Zoom Smokey and myself fortune cookies when she goes to the Chinese restaurant, and my fortune said I should expand my business so I assume I am supposed to become a more serious writer. However, Angel Zoom Smokey's cookie was missing its fortune!!! I wonder how often this happens. Sure, Angel ate the cookie and said that it didn't really matter. However, I could see the sadness in her eyes and sure, it could have been because the cookie was gone, but I have to think not having a fortune might have had something to do with it. What does it mean when you don't get a fortune in your cookie? Is your future so bad the cookie can't even talk about it? Do you not have a future? Did the cookie baker perhaps just miss putting the fortune in the cookie? (How likely is that?) Is Angel Zoom Smokey at the forefront of some massive plot to cheat customers out of fortunes? Just to be safe, I shared my fortune with her. I wouldn't want to see anything bad to happen to her. Now if only we can figure out what business we are supposed to expand......there are so many.

Demon Flash Bandit (I Could Be Iron Dog if I Were Willing to Wear a Tin Can)

Burger King--Burgers For Royalty and Dog Toys for Children

Burger King, the wonderful restaurant that makes my favorite hamburgers is now giving out toys with their children's meals and they are dogs from the movie, Marmaduke. I am so pleased with Burger King's good taste-both in making my delicious burgers and in promoting a wonderful dog movie. Mommy has yet to see the movie, but I'm sure she will see it soon. What human could pass up seeing a movie with dogs starring in it? Sure, a few of the stupid humans with bad taste won't see it, but who cares what they think? I know I don't.

It is about time I blogged about the greatest food ever served to dogkind. It is only appropriate that their mascot is a king because their burgers are good enough for royalty--unlike one of their competitors that chose a stupid clown to promote their company. I feel it is wrong to mention names, but if I had to choose between a burger that a king likes and one a clown likes, there would be no contest. You know the king is going to get the best burger. However, I do enjoy the ice cream and bacon at the clown's restaurant so they aren't all bad. This dog is not picky when it comes to ice cream except that I prefer it in a sundae cup. One time Mommy dipped it out of a regular ice cream container, and I refused to eat it. I do not like to be given cheaper alternatives. Anyway, Burger King, you have the Demon Flash Bandit seal of approval, and I have a cool photo of myself wearing one of your crowns and eating one of your burgers that you can have for advertising if you would slip a dog a couple of extra burgers. We don't have to tell the humans about the deal......I don't want to share.LOL

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Loves Burger King)

Royal Snakespearean Theatre---Snakes on a Plane

Today's blog is dedicated to giving credit to a lot of hard working actors and actresses from a movie made in 2006, and that movie is Snakes on a Plane. This dog is not a fan of snakes, and neither were the passengers on the plane which had more snakes than human passengers. I know many of us aren't fond of snakes, but does this mean that they shouldn't get credit for their accomplishments? I think not. Therefore, this dog is going to give them credit for their contribution to that movie. Three of the snakes in the movie were nominated for Oscars in previous movies. Veronica Viper was nominated for her work in Indiana Jones: Raiders of the Lost Ark. Bob Boa was nominated for that classic scene in Romancing the Stone. Connie Cobra was nominated for her wonderful performance in the movie, The Scorpion King. Sadly, although they did receive nominations for an Oscar, none of them actually won an Oscar which I suspect is because of the continuing prejudice against snakes by members of the Academy. I might add that all the snakes that were in the movie were well respected by their peers since all of them are members of the Royal Snakespearean Theatre. For those who are into classic theatre, you should see them in Hamlet. When the snake who plays Hamlet asks "to slither or not to slither, that is the question", I have yet to see a human actor who can put so much passion into the line. Sadly, despite all the snake talent, Snakes on a Plane suffered from the humans' prejudice against snakes, and if not for that prejudice, I'm sure the movie would have sold more tickets than the Titanic. I am glad that I could give the snakes their well deserved recognition even if I don't want to meet up with one of them personally.

Demon Flash Bandit (Giving Snakes on Snakes on a Plane Proper Credit)

Ice Blanket-Wonderful Invention

Mommy brought home a product that this dog truly loves. It is called an ice blanket, and when it comes out of the freezer, it makes a dog feel like he is spending a day in Alaska. I'm sure there are some dogs who won't appreciate the cold, but if a dog is a Siberian Husky, like myself, cold is something we love. Mother Nature is not being very cooperative with the weather now. It isn't like those lovely days in January when there is snow on the ground, and a dog can get cold just by stepping outside. Now the temperatures have gotten hot and I'm not a fan. Sure, I put up with heat, and I always spend a lot of time thanking that wonderful human who invented central air conditioning, but it just is not like a wonderful day in January. The ice blanket was meant for ice chests and coolers, but Mommy puts in in the freezer and when it gets super cold, she lays it on me while I am resting, and I LOVE the feel of the ice. I think it is a touch of heaven right here on Earth. It is supposed to be non toxic, but Mommy only puts it on me when she is around just in case I decide to eat it and it isn't non toxic.

I saw in the news that a fellow dog, Snoop Dogg, is President of the Serious Pimp clothing line. It is good to see a fellow dog do well. Most dogs who are successful usually have to turn to show business--like DJ and Cody who played Demon in Snow Dogs. Daddy had to have a blue eyed husky who looked like Demon after he saw Snow Dogs which is how I came to live with my humans so I have to say that I am so grateful Disney made that movie. However, a dog does like to have more career choices than being a movie star. I think that opens the door for dogs like myself to be taken more seriously in the world of business. Sure, show business is great, but not all dogs want to chase a chuckwagon through the kitchen. Some of us have bigger plans.

I hope everyone had a nice holiday, and before I conclude this blog, I have a few important things to share with my readers: arf, bark, howl, yap, yap, arf. Yes, it is nice that the humans can't understand dog.

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Prefers Cold Weather)