Big news: there is going to be a royal baby shower for Kate. What do I think about the baby shower? I think it is ridiculous that the humans are already getting together to try to bathe a baby who isn't even here yet. Just how obsessive/compulsive are the humans when they want to bathe human puppies before they even arrive? I'm sure many of you who have read my past entries about my friendship with the "Queen Lady" are anxious to know if I will be attending, and the answer is, I will not. I make it a point not to go to any social occasions where bathing is involved because I hate baths. Sure, you might see me standing outside the event with a protest sign, but this time I won't bother since no one is being forced into taking a bath so those of us who are against bathing just don't have to go. If I were an English dog, and the Queen Lady ordered me to attend, I probably would protest, but as a citizen of the United States, I don't have to do what the Queen Lady says. This is because several centuries ago, before the United States existed, the "colonies" were under British rule. Then King George III told every dog that they would have to get a bath which shows just how insane he was since the British royalty used to only take about 2 baths a year (that is what one of Mommy's history professors said), and the colonists refused to be subjected to such horror. That is when they started the revolutionary war, and the Queen Lady has not been able to order the U.S. around ever since.
Yeah, as usual, I like to educate my readers on important historical subjects in my blog which is why I have received the Dogtastic Award for Educating Humans which is displayed on my mantle--okay, my humans mantle. They are very proud of me!
Anyway, back to the shower. Showers are not traditionally given in Britain so this is a real break from tradition for the royal family. Perhaps those budget cuts to the royal household have finally caused enough pain to allow the royal family to start allowing humans to give them gifts. I personally will be sending a package of dingo bones, and if the royal Corgis eat them before the baby gets them, that is okay with me. Dogs need gifts too--but not baths!
Demon Flash Bandit (Don't Give me a Shower)