As my loyal readers are aware, this dog is not a fan of birds. In fact, I hate the little varmints. As you may have guessed, they aren't exactly crazy about me either. When I go with Mommy, I ride on the passenger side since the idiot humans won't allow us dogs to drive even though we are obviously better drivers than most humans and all cats. However, this blog is not about the dog discrimination in driving, but it is about how horrible those bird varmints are. When I got out to the vehicle today, there was a huge white bird bomb on the window where I look out. I'm sure the bird that did it was trying to keep me from seeing whatever illegal activities he was taking part in. This is not fair, and I told Mommy to clean up the window immediately. As you may guess, my human would make a lousy maid because it didn't seem to bother her at all, and she actually stated that rain would take care of it. This is when I miss Daddy the most. Daddy took his cars very seriously. They would be washed and waxed, and treated like his babies. He is the one who taught me to hate birds because he hated them dropping their bird bombs on his cars. He also held it against one bird at the Detroit Zoo who, one day many years ago, decided to drop a bomb on his head. Mommy said it was hilarious, but Daddy said he knew from that moment on that birds were evil creatures out to bird bomb a human's head. Besides, I hate baths, and I'm sure the cars don't enjoy them either so why should they be subjected to a bath just because a bird does not have any manners and decides to poop everywhere. Birds are useless creatures except for snacks and meals. I can only hope that Daddy is flying around in the sky shooting at those useless birds before they bug me more!
Demon Flash Bandit (Birds are Evil)